Patience

I'm always reminded by all of this what a lesson in patience it is. And it reminds me of a quote from my favorite movie:

"You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."

How true. How fitting.

Oh bother

Inland Imaging called today to schedule my little scan, but it has to be done between days 5-9 of my cycle. Guess what? Today is day 9. So obviously now I have to wait until next month, which is stressful because I never really have known how long my cycle will be. So as of right now I am scheduled for the 19th, which could be day 9, or 8, or 7, or 6, or 5 if and only if my cycle is between 28 and 33 days. So who knows what the next month will bring. This year I have had 29, 30, 33, 34, and 38 day cycles. I guess the odds are in my favor with that track record (that my appointment will be on the right day). Dang, I am just imagining how boring this must be to read. It's like a freaking statistics book or something. Anyway, it just goes to show how annoying insurance companies can be. It is their fault that I haven't had it already, and I still don't know if it needs to be pre-authorized or not. And if something happens and I can't get it done in December, then of course I am back to ground zero with my deductible, and that will make me very upset.

"All Normal"

We got the results of all my many blood tests yesterday and everything was normal. The whole panel of stuff my OB did, as well as my thyroid re-check. "All Normal" Ha! So I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm glad there's nothing "wrong" with me but for Pete's sake, why oh why must it be a mystery. My personal, amateur opinion is that it was my thyroid all along. After my 2nd m/c Dr. H said "hmm that might be worth checking" but then we never did. I only had it checked after I got pregnant the 3rd time, and didn't start the medication until then. But when I told Dr. H my thyroid was low he said it was unlikely to be the issue. Which doesn't really match up with what I've read on the old information superhighway. Even the website HE recommended talks about hypothyroidism resulting in increased rates of miscarriage.

Still waiting for my insurance company to preauthorize the sonohysterogram. Joy.

Day 1!

Well today I realized why I've been in such a bad mood for the last week or so ;) Whoohoo for day 1! It took just a little over 5 weeks this time, which in my mind is a good thing, especially since after my last D&C it took a full 8 weeks to get going again.

I haven't heard any results yet, which probably means it was all normal. I had my thyroid re-checked also on Monday and I haven't heard back from that yet either. So the next step is to schedule my sonohysterogram and then wait. I hate waiting (imagine this being said in the voice of Inigo Montoya because that is how I hear it in my head).

Oh, and...

Dr. H said we should wait until I get my period, and then get it again before trying again. So depending on how long that takes, it could be 2009, eek! I really wanted to have at least one kid before I was 30, but hey this wouldn't be the first time God changed my plans.

I added a picture of me and Max because he has been my pseudo baby ever since he came along. He is very tolerant of the corporal cuddling and I'm grateful for that.

Bittersweet

At long last, I have a little update. Eric and I had an appointment with Dr. H today. They had done some chromosome testing on what they were able to retrieve during the D&C. He said everything was normal, and it was a baby boy! That really pulled at our heart strings a little, I don't think either one of us was prepared for that information. It was a little easier when I was only thinking of it as a blob, but not really that much. We had a little Eric Jr. *sniff* Anyway, it's nice to know that there was no genetic abnormality which kind of narrows it down to a problem with me (or just bad luck). Sweet! After I get my period again, which may not be for a couple more weeks, we are going to do a sonohysterogram to check my uterus for abnormalities. Basically a sonohysterogram is an ultrasound, but they inject fluid into the uterus so they can see a little better what's going on in there. Dr. H said that is unlikely there will be any issues because I've already had 5 ultrasounds this year and they all looked fine. He also ordered a laundry list of bloodwork which required not 2, not 3, not 5, but NINE vials of blood. One of which had to go on ice! Wow, that was a lot of blood. I didn't have time to write down every single test on the order form, but here's what I remember:

Factor V Leiden - an inherited disorder of blood clotting
ANA Prothombin 20210 - another coagulation factor
Antithrombin III - another coagulation thing
Protein C and S activity & antigen - another coagulation thing
Homocysteine - an amino acid that has been linked to recurrent miscarriages
CARD - I think this was the Anticardiolipin antibodies that I was already tested for
Lupus anticoag something or other - also been tested for that already

Whew! So anyway, from the sounds of it, we could do ALL of those tests and still find nothing wrong. Dr. H said in all of history the odds are still in my favor (better than 50% is what he said) to have a healthy pregnancy even after three losses in a row. And while we were waiting I also read in a magazine that the odds are still 72% or so after 3. Sooo, I'm anxious to hear back… it's a little strange though. It's not like I WANT there to be something wrong…. But I feel like there should be SOME explanation for me going through this hell. And obviously if there is something wrong, it better be something we can fix… easily. So keep me in your prayers. Patience is not my virtue.