Seth 19 weeks

Dear Seth,

You are 19 weeks old today.  The last couple of days you are waking up a lot less at night, thank goodness!  We are getting at least one 4 hour stretch out of you, and for the most part you only get fed once between the time I go to bed for the night and when I get up for work.  Every time you wake up we try to get you back to sleep without feeding you but if you're really hungry you let us know… loudly.  In fact you SCREAM if we try to just give you a pacifier.  But if you're not really hungry you usually go right back to sleep without a bunch of shenanigans.  Better night sleep absolutely results in a happier you on the following day, so let's try to keep this going, shall we?

You're really turning into Grabby McGrabberson.  Your favorite target now is my face.  You bat at it and grab my nose and my cheeks and my lips.  If your hand finds its way into my mouth I pretend to eat it and you think that is so funny!  I'm glad I have short hair because I'm sure if I didn't you'd be yanking big chunks of it right out and I'd have bald patches, kind of like you do on the back of your head.  I will definitely not be wearing any dangly earrings any time soon.  You are still grabbing your feet a lot too and I've seen you get the toes on your right foot all the way into your mouth. 

You seem to be getting pretty picky about your food source and it could be my imagination but I am pretty sure you would pick me over your bottle any day of the week.  You used to take up to 5 oz from the bottle when Daddy fed you at night, but now that we've moved your bottle to day time you usually only eat about 3 oz.  And we have tried a few different bottles and even a #3 faster flow nipple.  3 oz is not a lot considering by my guesstimation you get a full 6 oz or more from me more often than not.

You seem to be adjusting just fine to me being at work in the mornings.  I feed you right before I leave and that is just about my favorite time of the day.  When you're done I put you back down in your crib and watch you squirm around as you settle back down to sleep.  You've started doing this thing where you wiggle back and forth like you're trying to scratch your back, it's so cute.  When you're wrapped in your Swaddle-me blanket you look like a little Glo-worm.  Speaking of the Swaddle-me blanket, it has become almost completely ineffective.  You always manage to work at least one arm completely out, but it doesn't seem to be affecting your sleep that much so I guess you are just weaning yourself.  Anyway… I do miss you when I'm at work, but it makes our afternoons together that much more special.  I always get a big smile out of you when I first get home, and no matter what happened at the office that day it is completely forgotten.  Daddy had the last few days off but he's going back to work today so that will be the true test of our little system.

Only 7 more weeks and you get to start eating solid food, how exciting!  I'm not looking forward to the stinky diapers, but it will be fun to see your reactions to the taste of real food.  And speaking of stinky poo… I don't know if this pattern will continue once you start solids, but you have been dirtying most of your diapers in the mornings anyway, so maybe Daddy will have to deal with them, haha!

I can't believe how fast you're growing up.  One day you'll be taller than me and drinking 4 gallons of milk every week.  It never ceases to amaze me that this time last year you were only about the size of a grape.  I made you from scratch and couldn't be more proud of the results.  I love you!!!

Love, Mama

Working mom

Well I made it through my first day back at work without any problems. Seth woke me up at 4:30am yesterday which was more than enough time to feed him, do a 20 minute workout, get ready at a leisurely pace including hair and makeup, eat breakfast, feed him again and still get to work 15 minutes early. While I am not sure I really want to be waking up at 4:30am every day, I can say that waking up to feed Seth is a thousand times easier than waking up to an alarm. And my new motto is "early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable." So whatever works I guess. As I've said before, my life is not my own anymore.

Another demonstration of God's plan in the timing of all this baby stuff -- my company JUST completed a brand new mother's room in time for my return. It is very cozy, complete with a glider and iPod docking station. Too bad I don't have an iPod. Thankfully I have never had a problem with let down on the pump, maybe because I was pumping so much when Seth was in the hospital I just got used to it. Anyway, Eric texted me when he was feeding Seth, and I was in and out in less than 15 minutes with my usual 6 oz or so. Seth has only been eating about 3 oz from the bottle these days, and not very enthusiastically, so I'm still ahead of the game.

The (1/2 ish) day breezed by amazingly fast considering how little I had to do. Most of my time was spent saying "Yep, I'm back" and "Seth is doing great" to all the people who walked by my cube and did a double take. Speaking of my cube, it was COVERED in a layer of dust, so I spent half the morning wiping it down with anti-bacterial wipes. Then it took me an hour or three to skim and sort through my inbox, catch up on all the gossip, and clear the fog from my brain. But once I got going and had some coffee it was just like riding a bike. The only mistake I made was not packing enough snacks. By the time I left at 12:30 I was starving.

Eric took a few days off from work while I get into the swing of things, so when I got home we hung out for awhile and had lunch before going to the park. Eric practiced a bit with his Hoopfest team and Seth and I made the rounds in the stroller. We stopped over at Auntie Jen's house for dinner before heading home around 7pm and I was e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. I put Seth to bed and it was lights out for me at 8:30pm.

This morning Seth upped the ante and woke us up at 3:30am. Eric made a valiant effort to get him back to sleep but he was dead set on getting some breakfast first. Rather than try and go back to sleep for an hour I figured I might as well make myself useful, so here I sit. Note my definition of useful ;) I guess I have time for an even longer workout today. Should have this baby weight off in no time at this rate.

Seth 18 weeks

Dear Seth,

You are 18 weeks old today. It has been SO fun watching you learn how to do stuff. You study us intently as we sing or make funny faces at you and then when you're left alone you practice. The first time you blew a really good raspberry both daddy and I were watching and my heart just about exploded with pride. Now you do it ALL the time and spit flies everywhere, it's pretty hilarious. Since you're so intent on mimicking us I guess it's time to start the first word contest. Will it be "Mama" or "Dada" (or "dude")? Place your bets!

These last 18 weeks have been life changing to say the least. Besides the obvious fact that my day to day life is no longer my own, my emotions have also run the gauntlet from sheer joy to pure terror. I can honestly say, though, that your arrival has been the best thing that ever happened to me. You're teaching me about love in a way that nothing else possibly could.

Your 18 week birthday neatly coincides with the last day of my maternity leave. Tomorrow morning we'll start another new chapter in our lives as I rejoin the professional world and you start spending your mornings with daddy. You are growing up so fast and I am a little nervous about how much I'm going to miss! I hope you can be patient with me for the next couple of weeks as I adjust to my new normal, again. I'm so glad we're in this together.

Love, Mama

T minus 2 more days

Wednesday I go back to work, 7:30am-12:30pm. Ugh. More on that after it happens I guess, right now I don't even want to dwell on it.

Friday we had Seth's 4 month checkup.

Weight - 16 lbs 0.5 oz - 75th %ile
Height - 26 in - 90th %ile
Head - 17.5 in - 95th %ile

His growth has been right on track, Dr. said he's "very symmetrical" - I like that. We asked about sunscreen since it is that time of year and all the products say not to use on babies under 6 months. He said it's probably best to use barrier methods and keep him out of the sun as much as possible, but go ahead and use the sunscreen too. Using it when they're a little too young is better than getting a burn. Having had many sun burns in my life I think I would agree with that. I can't imagine dealing with a sun burned baby.

He also go two shots, which he handled very well. The first one he didn't notice but the second one he definitely did and out came the tears. Not nearly as bad as last time though.

Saturday Seth went to visit with Grandpa and Nana Haynes while Eric and I ran some errands. When we got back he was hanging out half awake with Auntie Jenny and I had to post this picture so you could kind of see his awesome jeans that he got from my cousin Lisa. They are super cute and they open with snaps so you don't have to take them on and off.


Nights have been a bit of a challenge recently. Since he was born his longest stretch of sleep at night got longer and longer, all the way up to over 7 hours one night. Since then it has started to decline to about 3 hours if we're lucky. There had been a point awhile back where I'd decided not to feed him every time he woke up, if it had been less than 3 hours since he ate. Instead I would give him a pacifier and usually he'd go back to sleep. That was when he'd started sleeping longer periods (really, why bother wake up just for a pacifier?). But lately he's been eating so sporadically during the day that I got back into the habit of feeding him every time he woke up, assuming he really might be hungry. So here we are. A few days ago I started trying the pacifier strategy again and he would not have it. So last night I enlisted Daddy to help, under the theory that if I (the food source) didn't come into the room he might be more easily convinced to go back to sleep without eating. 10pm - didn't work. 1am - didn't work. At 3am I put my foot down. There was no way he needed to eat again. Eric battled for awhile to get him back to sleep, came out victorious, and we didn't hear from him again until 6:30am!!!

I have a suspicion that he's been getting more than enough to eat at night and that's why his eating habits during the day are so weird. Lots of times in the morning after his first feed he won't be interested in food again for 6 or 7 hours. I suppose it could also be that he's too distracted by the world to eat much during the day, so he makes up for it at night. Either way, "joke's on you mom!!"


Having to get up at 5am for work is motivation enough to get serious about regulating his night sleep a little more. Aside from my own sanity, I think he's also lot crabbier during the day when he wakes up that often.

He totally razzed today at me and Eric. He'd been practicing the different elements for about a week. Working his tongue in and out, pursing his lips, and blowing. Today he put it all together finally. The look on his face was priceless, we were laughing so hard I had tears coming down my face. I had to wipe them off along with the spit that was flying out of his mouth. At one point he got a little too excited, spit up a little bit and then blew that everywhere. It was fabulous. My goal for the week is to catch it on video.

First mommy panic attack

Last night before going to bed I went in to check on Seth like I always do, and he was so still and quiet that for the first time in 4 months I really thought for a minute that he was not breathing. I actually shook him a little bit and he still did not move a muscle. My heart just about stopped but finally I could feel his little chest going up and down. I'm sure only about 10 seconds had really gone by but it felt like 10 minutes. Usually all I do is lay a hand on him for a second and then as I'm walking out of the room he stirs a little, but he was really in a deep sleep I guess because he never did move or make a sound until like 20 minutes later.

Yikes. I didn't sleep very well all night, probably from the massive dose of adrenaline that surged through my body. I told Eric today I wished there was a little heart rate monitor I could stick on him and it would send an alert to my phone if it stopped. There must be an app for that...

Seth 17 weeks

Dear Seth,

You are 17 weeks old today, going on 2 years old. You seem in a hurry to grow up and be a big boy. You watch everything I do very carefully and very often try to imitate me, especially if it's something I'm doing with my mouth. You've really turned up the volume on your vocalizing, too. At times you will not stop whining unless someone is holding you up in a standing position. Today I could have sworn you even tried to take a step, but it was probably just an accident because you didn't do it again. More often than not you let out a piercing scream when someone lays you down on the changing table. But then I think once you realize we're not putting you down for a nap, then you just "talk" - or shall I say "yell" - saying HAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAA.

For a few days there you absolutely refused to be swaddled and would spit the pacifier practically across the room if we put it in your mouth. So you slept in a sleep sack for a few nights and naps this weekend (ending up with exponentially more scratches on your face). But last night you were really struggling to fall asleep so I tried swaddling you again and it was like flipping a switch. Lights out.

You're perfecting your rattle shaking skills, but still conk yourself in the head sometimes in your enthusiasm. You actually lean and reach towards things now sometimes instead of just batting around randomly. So I'm starting to take a beating a little bit these last couple of days. Your right arm waves up and down as if you're playing a tiny slot machine (extremely fast!). So if I'm changing you you're whacking me on the arm, and if I'm feeding you on the right side you're beating me in the chest.

You're sleeping pretty well at night for the most part so I am trying to learn to stress less about your naps. Besides the other day while I was making dinner you amused yourself on the play mat for over an hour and then just fell asleep right there. So I suppose when you're tired, you'll nap, and when you're not tired you won't and that's all there is to it. I am thinking you might be ready for a comfort item of some sort though because 90% of the time you seem to fall asleep so well if I'm sitting there watching you, but as soon as I walk out of the room you start to freak out.


As for eating... the Baby Whisperer is nuts if she thinks I can keep you on anything resembling a feeding schedule/routine, whatever she wants to call it. You act like you're starving sometimes when you shouldn't be, and other times when I think you must be starving you won't eat at all. You are a rather large child so maybe I'm just dealing with little growth spurts every few days, who knows. All I know is that I still have to feed you every 1.5 to 6 hours, depending on the day. You're the boss. Love ya.

Love, Mama

Sheesh...

I kind of winced when I re-read my post from yesterday and thought I should clarify, just in case someday Seth does read some of this. Maybe it goes without saying, but when I said I thought to myself I never should have had a baby, that's not to say at all that I wish Seth wasn't here or that I could have my old life back. I meant it more along the lines of sometimes I feel like I suck at this and that he deserves better. Right this minute I do know that's ridiculous, but I still have my moments of despair. Anyway...

It's my last full week of staying at home :( We're adjusting our routine somewhat so that Seth's not getting too many bottles (and thus wreaking some havoc on my milk supply). Basically I'll be feeding him any time I am at home, including the middle of the night. But Eric will put him back to bed after he eats and take care of any pajama or diaper changes that might come up. I'm already stressing about my ability to get away to pump while I'm at work, so we'll see how things go. Maybe Seth will be one of those babies who doesn't eat much while Mom's not there. He sure has been a high maintenance bottomless pit this afternoon.

My mom bought Seth a high chair this weekend, which has been GREAT. Now I can have Seth in the kitchen with me without him being on the floor or taking up counter space. It also has a 5 pt harness, unlike the Bumbo or the bouncy chair, so I don't have to worry about him escaping. I can also spread toys out on the tray to amuse him while I cook or eat, and the tray is far enough away that he has to reach for stuff if he wants it. Thanks Gramby!!


We finally canceled our digital cable today. We didn't actually turn it off completely, we only downgraded to "limited" cable because there was a deal, and we would have lost our multi-product discount on the internet service. After 6 months the "deal" will expire and we'll re-evaluate our situation. Football season could be an issue if we have no TV at all, so my guess is we'll keep the networks at least. But still, no more Food Network or ESPN, so that alone will leave us lots more time for this:


and this:
I already feel like I have a lot more free time. Instead of sitting on my butt watching TV I can move my butt and lose these last 10 pesky pounds! I've noticed that Seth is pretty enthralled when I dance around a little so maybe he will be curious enough to watch me do some of my workout DVDs.

T- minus 20 hours until I get my DROID. Oops, there goes all my free time ;0)

Happy Mother's Day...to Moi!

I've been quietly celebrating Mother's Day with myself since 2008, but this is the first year I have had a real flesh and blood bouncing baby boy to show for it. I'll be totally honest, I still have moments when I think to myself "I'm not cut out for this, I never should have had a baby." But then hours or even minutes later I get a smile or a cuddle from Seth that makes all of the struggles and frustrations totally worth it.


Eric's Mother's Day card to me reads "Behind every great kid is a Mom who's pretty sure she's screwing it up." I couldn't have said it better myself.

Shake, rattle, and roll

Hahaha I crack myself up! Last night Seth broke his 4 night streak of waking up every 2 hours all night long. His longest stretch was still only 3:30-7am, but Eric had fed him at 3:30 so at least I got to stay in bed for 7 hours straight. I've read that sometimes sleep disturbances can occur when babies are learning new skills, and we've definitely got that going on (if it's not toofers). Yesterday was the first time I think Seth shook a rattle with purpose. It was so great. I shook it and then handed it to him and instead if immediately putting it in his mouth, he totally waved it around in the air. He's a genius, that one. He's also starting to make a bunch of new sounds with his mouth this week. Today I noticed he is making a kissing sound a lot. I'm pretty sure he's also trying to figure out how to razz. I've been blowing raspberries at him a lot and he's super jealous (he told me). He kind of sucks his lower lip in and then pops it back out over and over again. Then he'll stick his tongue out... he just hasn't figured out how to put it all together. So flippin' cute!

I just put him down for a nap unswaddled this morning. The last couple of days he has been seriously resisting being swaddled. Even if I do manage to get him velcro'd in before he whips his hands up to his face, he always manages to wiggle out eventually anyway. He's so close to rolling over on his tummy too I feel like it's probably best to kick the habit sooner rather than later. I've been worried though because that kid is always movin' and when I lay him down he just sticks his arms in the air and waves them all around, sometimes punching himself in the face. Seems like it would be a little hard to settle down like that. So this morning I just gently held his one arm in my hand. His other one slowly roved around for a bit, absently scratching and poking at his face, but eventually his eyes did start to close. I let go of his arm and it immediately went up by his head but he didn't open his eyes. So I left him laying there in his I surrender pose. That lasted about 25 minutes and I could not get him to go back to sleep to save my life. I fed him and he chowed down like a starving baby in Africa so I guess he was just hungry (< 2 hours since his last meal). Always keeping me guessing! Yesterday he went for 6 hours where he didn't seem to want to eat at all.

Yesterday I got him to laugh a bunch. I had him on my shins as I rolled on my back side to side (a good ab workout by the way) and he was giggling up a storm. I'm always nervous about doing that though, I just never know when spit up will come flying out all over me. He was also laughing when I bounced him up and down singing "Ride a little pony, go to town."

We are both looking forward to a visit from Gramby this weekend for Mother's Day. Yay!

Home sweet home

So... according to babycenter.com, some of the symptoms of teething are:

• Drooling (which can lead to a facial rash)
• Gum swelling and sensitivity
• Irritability or fussiness
• Biting behavior
• Refusing food
• Sleep problems

Seth is definitely exhibiting 5 out of the above 6 symptoms. I can't tell if his gums are swollen and sensitive, but the rest? Check, check, check, check, and check... everyone has been asking me if he's teething but I guess only time will tell. He bites hard, too. When we hand him a stuffed toy it's like handing it to a puppy, he bites down on it and shakes it around. He even makes a little growling noise sometimes. Ok, not really a growl, more of a "ehhhhh ehhh" sound.

Since it is a Wednesday, Eric had to go to work of course, so I'm home alone with the babe once again. Only 2 more weeks until I have to go back to work so I am doing my best to enjoy it. But I'm thoroughly exhausted and looking forward to the weekend yet again.

Seth 16 weeks

Dear Seth,

You are 16 weeks old today. Right now we are on our way home from Edmonton where we just spent the weekend visiting with your great aunts and great grandpa. When we get home the new house rule is that we can't turn our backs on you unless you're in the crib or on the floor. You are going to be rolling over from your back to your stomach any day now, and you can already do it if you're propped up even on a slight incline. Your new hobby is doing reverse crunches and bringing your feet up and grabbing them with your hands. You grunt and grunt until you succeed and if it takes too long you really start to fuss about it. It's only a matter of time before you get those toes into your mouth, what fun! When your legs are pulled up like that you roll almost onto your side so I'm sure you'll figure out what to do next before we know it. You have also started to stiffen your body and arch your back when I put you in the Bumbo, so I'm sure one of these days you'll pop right out of that, too. So much for the Bumbo "babysitter."

So let's see, since last week we've been away from home every day so I might as well just talk about our trip. Wednesday morning we got up and daddy helped pack the car. I took everything but the kitchen sink and it all just barely fit into the Subaru. We headed north to Grandpa's house on the river and spent the night. My goal had been to make it out of the house by 3pm and we just made it - my car's clock read 3:06pm and it's a little fast. Thursday morning we got up and had breakfast and you took a little nap while I packed up all your stuff yet again - this time into Grandpa's car. He has a Honda Ridgeline and I thought we'd have plenty of room but I didn't realize he didn't have a cover for the back... so it was a tight fit but we managed to stuff everything in. We got on the road around 11am and headed north again, to Canada. Did you know you are one quarter Canadian? We didn't have any trouble at the border since your Mama had done her research and was all prepared with our passports and a letter from daddy saying it was ok for you to travel. Thankfully we weren't going south that day because on the other side of the border there were about 20 semi trucks loaded with cows lined up waiting to cross into the States. Moo! I bet that was stinky!

It took us about 8 hours to get from Sandpoint to Okotoks, Alberta where we stopped for the night. We saw tons of wildlife out on the highway - a turkey, deer, elk, mountain goats & sheep, as well as a donkey and plenty of cows and horses on the farms. Well, Grandpa and I saw them... you pretty much saw the back seat head rest and maybe some trees whizzing by if you bothered to take a peek. Along the way we had to stop just a handful times to feed you and ourselves and change your drawers. All the Tim Horton's we've stopped at have had a diaper changing station inside, which was lots easier than the front seat of daddy's truck. Although you did have your pants changed on the side of the road one time with about 100mph winds and semi trucks whizzing by. You didn't seem to mind too much even with your little bum exposed to the breezes in the treezes. You did great in the hotel room and went to sleep without much trouble, waking up at about 1am and 5am to eat. We got up for the day at around 8am and managed to get on the road again by 11. Okotoks to Edmonton was a significantly shorter drive and we got to Auntie Gloria's house at about 3pm. We visited there for a bit before heading to Auntie Bev's house to set up camp and get you down for a nap. You just took a little snooze and then joined everyone in the kitchen for burgers and homemade caesar salad crafted by your grandpa's cousin Robert. It wasn't long before you completely lost your patience with your world being turned upside down. You went from fussing to inconsolable within about 10 minutes so we went to your room and had some quiet time before you finally fell asleep for the night around 10pm (mountain time) - about 2 hours past your bed time.

Saturday you woke up a new baby. Probably relieved that you weren't immediately strapped into the car seat, you gazed open mouthed around Auntie Bev's kitchen in awe at all of her yellow walls and red appliances. You took three textbook 90 minute naps and woke up just in time to head to the church for your great grandpa's 95th birthday party. Once we got there you were the picture of tolerance as you got passed around to your Mama's various aunts and cousins and cousins' kids. You started to fuss just a little so I fed you in the handy dandy mother's room at the church, changed your diaper, and returned to the party where you were good for almost another hour. Then you hit a wall and I could smell a meltdown coming. We went back to the mother's room and I sang to you and rocked in the dark until you fell asleep. You took about a 15 minute power nap which was just enough to take the edge off. You sat in your car seat with a glazed look in your eye until we left.

On Sunday we had brunch at Bev's house and you sat on Grandpa's lap and flirted with Nola across the table. Grandpa poked a link breakfast sausage into your mouth which you gummed a little, grimaced and then spit up a few minutes later. I guess you're not ready for that yet. After another nice long nap we went to the West Edmonton mall, the largest mall in North America, on a mission to find some baby souvenirs for you. Grandpa carried you the whole time and you tried to eat his coat as you stared wide eyed over his shoulder at all the chaos around us. We found what we were looking for and headed back where you took another little nap before dinner at Auntie Gloria's. That night I managed to get you to bed around 9pm and I got to go soak in the hot tub - uninterrupted (yay!), but things went downhill from there. For some reason you were waking up every couple of hours and were not easily convinced to go back to sleep as per usual, even after being fed.

Monday morning a very tired mama packed up all your stuff yet again and we began our journey home. You slept almost all the way from Edmonton to Okotoks, minus our stop for pizza in Innisfail, Alberta. We got to Okotoks at about 5pm and hung out in the hotel room all evening, you chewing on all your toys and me and Grandpa watching a movie on TV. Once again you went to sleep by 9pm but woke up about every 2 hours. I had to change your PJs once at 4am because you somehow managed to pee everywhere except in your diaper, one of the joys of little boys. Then before 6am you were WIDE awake and no amount of coaxing could get you back to sleep. It was all I could do to keep you relatively quiet until you took a nap around 7am. You didn't want to eat or suck on your pacifier, but you happily chewed HARD on my knuckles. Maybe you're teething or you just wanted to get up and on the road because you miss your daddy.

So here we are. As I type we are crossing the Rocky Mountains at Crowsnest pass and you are peacefully sleeping in your car seat. Maybe somehow you knew that if you slept too much last night you'd just be sitting bored but awake all the way home today. We are making good time today so we might get back to Grandpa's house with enough time to have dinner and then head the rest of the way home to Spokane.

Love, Mama

P.S. We made it home safe and sound and got to visit with daddy for a few minutes before you hit the wall of exhaustion. I put you in your crib and you were asleep in about 10 seconds flat. You're happy to be home I guess. We'll have to do your weekly picture with the monkey tomorrow.