Yesterday morning I had an appointment with Natalia, the ARNP who works with Dr. H. She told me that there actually was an issue with the chromosomes on my last miscarriage (back in Feb). Now, I know for certain that Dr. H told me everything was normal, because I wrote about it on this very blog. So one of them is wrong. I have a hunch it is her, but I'll have to confirm that later and get back to you. She did seem very concerned that I've now had FIVE miscarriages and she vowed to do some research and consult with Dr. H and get back to me next week with an action plan. In the meantime I've activated my own action plan which is to see a fertility specialist. This guy mainly does IVF and that sort of thing, but when I called and explained my situation they didn't hang up on me or anything. The lady I talked to was actually very nice and explained in detail what the initial 2 hour consult would involve. She said I would meet with the doctor and he would do a baseline ultrasound right then and there. I will also meet with a nurse coordinator who would be overseeing the entire course of my treatment, and finally I get to meet with a financial counselor regarding the cost, payment, etc. It sounded very official and thorough. Unfortunately, due to the fact that he is a "fertility" specialist, it's not likely that my insurance will pay for any of it. But if anyone in this town can figure out what's going on, it's got to be him. I've heard that he's actually one of the top fertility guys in the country, so we're lucky to be close by. And he's very popular - the first appointment they had available was September 16th!!
As for my current situation, we're kind of in a wait and see mode. I'll have my HCG tested again next week to make sure it's still going down, and then weekly after that until it's below the magic number - 2. The last time we let nature take it's course like this was with my very first pregnancy about a million years ago. That time they even did an ultrasound and confirmed that everything was all clear, but I ended up having to have a D&C anyway because I kept bleeding for like 2 weeks or something like that. I am hoping we don't have to go that route again but history tends to repeat itself, so keep your fingers crossed for me.
Can you believe on Monday it will be AUGUST already?!?
Friday, July 29, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
My only friend, the end
Got the results of my second HCG this afternoon, it was down to 240. So that, as they say, is THAT. I feel like I'm going to take this one in stride. I'm going to be perfectly honest right now and tell you that when I first found out I was pregnant this time I wasn't exactly thrilled. Eric and I had just talked a few days before that about when we wanted to try again and I said I wasn't ready. Now, don't get me wrong, I did want to have another baby. What I didn't want was to have another miscarriage. See how well that worked out for me? Just to be clear, in the weeks after I found out I really did get excited about it and I am devastated that this is happening again. But somehow I'm finding a place of Zen in the middle of it all. Or maybe I just can't be a good mom and lay around sobbing and feeling sorry for myself all at the same time.
Anyway, I have an appointment in the morning to go get my shot of Rhogam since I am Rh negative. I'll be seeing a provider too and I'm going in armed. I guess most of you don't know this but over the winter my older brother had a stroke. Then a few weeks ago my dad was in the hospital for three days because of a pulmonary embolism. Both of my maternal grandparents have had strokes. Strokes and embolisms are all related to clotting. Clotting around the placenta can clog things up and keep nutrients from getting to the baby, hence causing a miscarriage. On top of that my paternal grandmother apparently had multiple miscarriages (and somehow managed to still have 4 children). I know my doctor had ordered some tests in the very beginning to see if I have some sort of clotting disorder, and hadn't found anything of significance. But I think that was after I'd had 2 miscarriages. Now I've had 5... so I don't know, it seems like maybe it's time to check again! When you get pregnant you are something like 6 times more likely to develop blood clots, so even something insignificant might be worth looking into. I was able to have one healthy baby without any intervention but it seems to me like there's something going on that makes Seth that much more of a miracle.
So stay tuned.
Anyway, I have an appointment in the morning to go get my shot of Rhogam since I am Rh negative. I'll be seeing a provider too and I'm going in armed. I guess most of you don't know this but over the winter my older brother had a stroke. Then a few weeks ago my dad was in the hospital for three days because of a pulmonary embolism. Both of my maternal grandparents have had strokes. Strokes and embolisms are all related to clotting. Clotting around the placenta can clog things up and keep nutrients from getting to the baby, hence causing a miscarriage. On top of that my paternal grandmother apparently had multiple miscarriages (and somehow managed to still have 4 children). I know my doctor had ordered some tests in the very beginning to see if I have some sort of clotting disorder, and hadn't found anything of significance. But I think that was after I'd had 2 miscarriages. Now I've had 5... so I don't know, it seems like maybe it's time to check again! When you get pregnant you are something like 6 times more likely to develop blood clots, so even something insignificant might be worth looking into. I was able to have one healthy baby without any intervention but it seems to me like there's something going on that makes Seth that much more of a miracle.
So stay tuned.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Here we go a#$%&gain
So... I started spotting I guess around Wednesday, it stopped on Saturday and then Sunday started up again as bright red bleeding. I went in this morning to get my HCG done and it came back 860 something which I am not taking as a good sign. I know it is just a baseline and we won't know anything for sure until we get a second one on Wednesday. But this ain't my first rodeo. With Seth my HCG was over 14,000 at 6 weeks (I am 7 weeks as of yesterday). And counting backwards from today, Saturday it would have been 430, Thursday 215, Tuesday 107, Sunday 54, Friday 27, Wednesday 14, Monday 7, Saturday 3.5... you see where I am going with this? I took the pregnancy test 3 days before that and I'm just guessing but I don't think they are quite that sensitive. The miscarriage I had before Seth my HCG was 968 at about 6 weeks so things are looking pretty grim from where I sit. I don't want to cry because I already have a headache and I have a toddler to deal with for the rest of the afternoon. But I'm just sick over it. I am so tired of this crap.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Glacier Trip 2011
Thursday morning we packed up the car and headed out of town. The trip over was pretty uneventful, one notable stop was at the Mission Mountain Winery in Montana where we took a little break and tasted a couple of wines (none of which were that great IMO). Seth had fun running around though and they had cleverly used wine corks in their landscaping in place of rocks or bark which was pretty cool.
We arrived in Glacier National Park at our campsite in Apgar around 6pm or so and got busy setting up our tent and settling in. Seth was eager to help out.
Before bed we took a little stroll around the campground and Seth took his first of several headers into the asphalt. Gave himself a nice little goose egg that you can see poking out from his dinosaur suit. He woke up crying that night every hour or so until after midnight and then slept through until about 6:30 Montana time. Ugh. We delivered him to Nana and Grandpa in the motor home and Eric went back to bed while I went for a run around the campground.
After breakfast we took a walk over to Apgar Village. Seth was loving running down the little trail but of course couldn't quite stay on his feet 100% of the time.
First family picture of the trip, Lake McDonald in the background.
Seth learning about one of the few times it is appropriate to throw rocks -- into the water!
After our spin around Apgar Village we left Seth and Grandpa behind and hiked up to Avalanche Lake. This is a very popular and fairly easy hike so the trail was pretty crowded. But it was worth it, there were some pretty spectacular sights along the way. The first section is along Avalanche gorge and there was a TON of water flowing down. The pictures I took really don't do it justice, it was incredible.
About 2 miles up we made it to the lake and it was COLD up there, the wind whipping across the lake. We took a little break and ate some snacks before heading back down.
The chipmunks were not skittish at all, I am guessing they are used to getting some crumbs from silly people and their granola bars.
On the way back down we did spot a black bear on the mountain side opposite the trail. It was extremely far away but we could see it cruising around doing its thing. In the picture below there is a tree right in the middle, at the base of the tree just to the right that little black blob is the bear. Too bad we did not have our binoculars because that was basically the only bear we saw the whole trip.
Here is Seth back at camp practicing his mountain goat moves. At one point he was jumping up and down on those rocks yelling "Nana, Nana!" Or at least it sounded like it.
Friday night Seth woke up around 10 or 11pm and was inconsolable for a good 30-45 minutes, which is really unusual. Normally just replacing his pacifier does the trick and he goes right back to sleep. Eric and I were in detective mode trying to figure out what was up. He was clearly tired and trying to get comfortable but just not happy. I gave him some ibuprofen and we completely stripped him naked and changed his clothes to make sure there were no ants in his pants (so to speak). Eventually he calmed down and went back to sleep in bed with us, and we were a little shaken but relieved.
Saturday we took a drive up the Going to the Sun Road and saw some beautiful scenery. The road just opened about two days before we showed up, there was so much snow at the top. The view behind Seth and Grandpa Haynes I believe is Heaven's Peak.
At the Logan Pass visitors center was just a giant snow field. This was my first trip to Glacier so I don't know any different but I heard a lot of people around commenting about the amount of snow and how amazing it was. My understanding is that beyond Seth and Eric in this picture normally there is a boardwalk trail leading up the mountainside but it is still covered in snow obviously.
The sun reflecting off the snow was so bright it hurt my eyes so I took Seth back down to the car so he wouldn't get snow blindness. I can only imagine what it was like for him not even having sunglasses on.
But going back to the parking lot ended up being a lucky break for us because we got to see this.
The Glacier brochures sometimes refer to the "exhibitionist" mountain goats and I can see why. This one apparently smelled some tourist's Fritos left on the ground and came RIGHT UP to the sidewalk to snag them off the ground. Then he just waltzed up and down staring people down, I'm sure hoping they would be dumb enough to throw him some more salty goodness.
He had wandered away by the time Eric took this picture but at one point I literally could have reached out and grabbed him by the horns. Seth was completely fascinated.
After Logan pass we kept going down the mountain to St. Mary and Seth got a really close encounter with a black bear at the lodge. This got some good giggles out of him.
I don't like to post a lot of pictures of just scenery without people but some of the views on the way back over were just spectacular. Most of them I took out the window of our moving car, and I'm sure my camera doesn't even do them justice. You'll just have to take my word for it.
There were several areas where the snow runoff was right on the side of the car and Eric had fun trying to get his dad a nice little shower in places.
Almost like going through the car wash!
There were a few delays due to the perpetual road construction but I think the whole day we only had to stop 3 times. This was on one of the longer delays.
Saturday night was brutal. Seth again went to sleep initially but woke up a few hours in just beside himself. He cried and fussed off and on until about 4am and none of us got much sleep which was a real bummer since I was scheduled to get up at 6:15am to make it to my 7:45am horseback ride. Luckily I did get a solid 2 hours nap otherwise I think I might have just skipped it completely.
Jen and I made it to the horseback ride on time and got our own private trail ride since there were no other tourists who had signed up. We weren't allowed to bring cameras so no pictures of that but it was really fun and beautiful even though for some reason they gave me the slowest horse available, so slow that the gal leading our ride had to actually pull my horse along behind hers for the entire 2 hours. Under other circumstances I would have been really annoyed but I was too exhausted from the night before to spend the whole ride kicking the crap out of my horse. So as it was I got to just relax and enjoy the scenery.
Later that afternoon Eric, Jen, and I went on a monster hike. We wanted to go at least 6 miles so we chose the Snyder Lake trail which is actually almost 9 miles round trip but we figured we probably wouldn't go all the way. It was a really beautiful hike with lots of views along the way but it was tough. I thought Eric and Jenny were going to die, but I surprised myself. Who knew I was in such great shape?
There were lots of places where mountain streams were crossing the trail and wouldn't you know it, 3 miles up we ran into this monster creek blocking the way. I monkey swung through the trees to get across and we could have kept going but we were running low on water and ready to head back anyway. On the way up we had to step over a big pile of bear doo doo that was so fresh I am sure that bear was nearby, probably keeping a close eye on us. Later on we did hear that some other hikers ahead of us had seen him.
Sunday night Seth slept about 9 uninterrupted hours which was a blessing for all of us. We packed up camp and loaded the car to head home. Before we left we wanted to go on one last hike and we had chosen John's Lake loop which was a huge mistake, the first of a few lapses in judgement that day. I don't know if we just took a wrong turn or what, but the hike was supposed to be 3 miles although it was only about 1/2 mile to the actual lake. We went around the lake and ended up on McDonald Creek, which Jen and I had ridden along on our trail ride. It was really pretty so we ended up just walking the horse trail again back around to where we had parked and still only went 2 miles total.
About halfway through Seth crashed out and missed a lot of the great views of the forest and Lake McDonald from the bridge over the creek. The half mile back to the car from where we took this picture was a constant swarm of mosquitoes. I think I got more bites in that 20 minutes than I did the rest of the trip, it was completely miserable.
After the hike Jen and I went down and took a little swim in Lake McDonald. It was cold but not nearly as cold as the snow runoff and I think the Pend Orielle river the week before the 4th of July was colder as well. But it was nice to rinse off a layer of grime before getting back in the car for what we thought would be the 6 hour drive home. Day 5 in the park and we had only had two 5 minute cursory motor home showers, it was getting pretty ugly.
Seth was SO good on what turned out to be a 9 hour car ride home. MT highway 135 South was closed when we got there due to a fire causing poor visibility. So we got adventurous and tried to take a dirt road across Cooper pass. Big mistake. Maybe the sign warning us that the road was not suitable for passenger cars should have been a clue but we pressed on anyway. It took us at least 45 minutes to go 5 miles, made it almost all the way up to the top before we had to stop to let the Saturn cool down since the temperature gauge was almost maxed out. While we were hanging around there a couple of people came down the road on their ATVs and warned us that there was still 2 feet of snow at the top and we would probably get stuck if we tried to make it over. So we reluctantly turned around with our tails between our legs and took a normal route home, one meant for families with small children. Oops.
We did make it home safely around 9pm and crashed into bed after a long luxurious shower. My hair has never been so soft. I should do a Pantene commercial. Oh, and Seth's sleepless nights were apparently the result of his lower right molar which has since made its appearance. Glad he chose vacation to cut a new tooth! But we survived and had a lot of fun.
We arrived in Glacier National Park at our campsite in Apgar around 6pm or so and got busy setting up our tent and settling in. Seth was eager to help out.
Before bed we took a little stroll around the campground and Seth took his first of several headers into the asphalt. Gave himself a nice little goose egg that you can see poking out from his dinosaur suit. He woke up crying that night every hour or so until after midnight and then slept through until about 6:30 Montana time. Ugh. We delivered him to Nana and Grandpa in the motor home and Eric went back to bed while I went for a run around the campground.
After breakfast we took a walk over to Apgar Village. Seth was loving running down the little trail but of course couldn't quite stay on his feet 100% of the time.
First family picture of the trip, Lake McDonald in the background.
Seth learning about one of the few times it is appropriate to throw rocks -- into the water!
After our spin around Apgar Village we left Seth and Grandpa behind and hiked up to Avalanche Lake. This is a very popular and fairly easy hike so the trail was pretty crowded. But it was worth it, there were some pretty spectacular sights along the way. The first section is along Avalanche gorge and there was a TON of water flowing down. The pictures I took really don't do it justice, it was incredible.
About 2 miles up we made it to the lake and it was COLD up there, the wind whipping across the lake. We took a little break and ate some snacks before heading back down.
The chipmunks were not skittish at all, I am guessing they are used to getting some crumbs from silly people and their granola bars.
On the way back down we did spot a black bear on the mountain side opposite the trail. It was extremely far away but we could see it cruising around doing its thing. In the picture below there is a tree right in the middle, at the base of the tree just to the right that little black blob is the bear. Too bad we did not have our binoculars because that was basically the only bear we saw the whole trip.
Here is Seth back at camp practicing his mountain goat moves. At one point he was jumping up and down on those rocks yelling "Nana, Nana!" Or at least it sounded like it.
Friday night Seth woke up around 10 or 11pm and was inconsolable for a good 30-45 minutes, which is really unusual. Normally just replacing his pacifier does the trick and he goes right back to sleep. Eric and I were in detective mode trying to figure out what was up. He was clearly tired and trying to get comfortable but just not happy. I gave him some ibuprofen and we completely stripped him naked and changed his clothes to make sure there were no ants in his pants (so to speak). Eventually he calmed down and went back to sleep in bed with us, and we were a little shaken but relieved.
Saturday we took a drive up the Going to the Sun Road and saw some beautiful scenery. The road just opened about two days before we showed up, there was so much snow at the top. The view behind Seth and Grandpa Haynes I believe is Heaven's Peak.
At the Logan Pass visitors center was just a giant snow field. This was my first trip to Glacier so I don't know any different but I heard a lot of people around commenting about the amount of snow and how amazing it was. My understanding is that beyond Seth and Eric in this picture normally there is a boardwalk trail leading up the mountainside but it is still covered in snow obviously.
The sun reflecting off the snow was so bright it hurt my eyes so I took Seth back down to the car so he wouldn't get snow blindness. I can only imagine what it was like for him not even having sunglasses on.
But going back to the parking lot ended up being a lucky break for us because we got to see this.
The Glacier brochures sometimes refer to the "exhibitionist" mountain goats and I can see why. This one apparently smelled some tourist's Fritos left on the ground and came RIGHT UP to the sidewalk to snag them off the ground. Then he just waltzed up and down staring people down, I'm sure hoping they would be dumb enough to throw him some more salty goodness.
He had wandered away by the time Eric took this picture but at one point I literally could have reached out and grabbed him by the horns. Seth was completely fascinated.
After Logan pass we kept going down the mountain to St. Mary and Seth got a really close encounter with a black bear at the lodge. This got some good giggles out of him.
I don't like to post a lot of pictures of just scenery without people but some of the views on the way back over were just spectacular. Most of them I took out the window of our moving car, and I'm sure my camera doesn't even do them justice. You'll just have to take my word for it.
There were several areas where the snow runoff was right on the side of the car and Eric had fun trying to get his dad a nice little shower in places.
Almost like going through the car wash!
There were a few delays due to the perpetual road construction but I think the whole day we only had to stop 3 times. This was on one of the longer delays.
Saturday night was brutal. Seth again went to sleep initially but woke up a few hours in just beside himself. He cried and fussed off and on until about 4am and none of us got much sleep which was a real bummer since I was scheduled to get up at 6:15am to make it to my 7:45am horseback ride. Luckily I did get a solid 2 hours nap otherwise I think I might have just skipped it completely.
Jen and I made it to the horseback ride on time and got our own private trail ride since there were no other tourists who had signed up. We weren't allowed to bring cameras so no pictures of that but it was really fun and beautiful even though for some reason they gave me the slowest horse available, so slow that the gal leading our ride had to actually pull my horse along behind hers for the entire 2 hours. Under other circumstances I would have been really annoyed but I was too exhausted from the night before to spend the whole ride kicking the crap out of my horse. So as it was I got to just relax and enjoy the scenery.
Later that afternoon Eric, Jen, and I went on a monster hike. We wanted to go at least 6 miles so we chose the Snyder Lake trail which is actually almost 9 miles round trip but we figured we probably wouldn't go all the way. It was a really beautiful hike with lots of views along the way but it was tough. I thought Eric and Jenny were going to die, but I surprised myself. Who knew I was in such great shape?
There were lots of places where mountain streams were crossing the trail and wouldn't you know it, 3 miles up we ran into this monster creek blocking the way. I monkey swung through the trees to get across and we could have kept going but we were running low on water and ready to head back anyway. On the way up we had to step over a big pile of bear doo doo that was so fresh I am sure that bear was nearby, probably keeping a close eye on us. Later on we did hear that some other hikers ahead of us had seen him.
Sunday night Seth slept about 9 uninterrupted hours which was a blessing for all of us. We packed up camp and loaded the car to head home. Before we left we wanted to go on one last hike and we had chosen John's Lake loop which was a huge mistake, the first of a few lapses in judgement that day. I don't know if we just took a wrong turn or what, but the hike was supposed to be 3 miles although it was only about 1/2 mile to the actual lake. We went around the lake and ended up on McDonald Creek, which Jen and I had ridden along on our trail ride. It was really pretty so we ended up just walking the horse trail again back around to where we had parked and still only went 2 miles total.
About halfway through Seth crashed out and missed a lot of the great views of the forest and Lake McDonald from the bridge over the creek. The half mile back to the car from where we took this picture was a constant swarm of mosquitoes. I think I got more bites in that 20 minutes than I did the rest of the trip, it was completely miserable.
After the hike Jen and I went down and took a little swim in Lake McDonald. It was cold but not nearly as cold as the snow runoff and I think the Pend Orielle river the week before the 4th of July was colder as well. But it was nice to rinse off a layer of grime before getting back in the car for what we thought would be the 6 hour drive home. Day 5 in the park and we had only had two 5 minute cursory motor home showers, it was getting pretty ugly.
Seth was SO good on what turned out to be a 9 hour car ride home. MT highway 135 South was closed when we got there due to a fire causing poor visibility. So we got adventurous and tried to take a dirt road across Cooper pass. Big mistake. Maybe the sign warning us that the road was not suitable for passenger cars should have been a clue but we pressed on anyway. It took us at least 45 minutes to go 5 miles, made it almost all the way up to the top before we had to stop to let the Saturn cool down since the temperature gauge was almost maxed out. While we were hanging around there a couple of people came down the road on their ATVs and warned us that there was still 2 feet of snow at the top and we would probably get stuck if we tried to make it over. So we reluctantly turned around with our tails between our legs and took a normal route home, one meant for families with small children. Oops.
We did make it home safely around 9pm and crashed into bed after a long luxurious shower. My hair has never been so soft. I should do a Pantene commercial. Oh, and Seth's sleepless nights were apparently the result of his lower right molar which has since made its appearance. Glad he chose vacation to cut a new tooth! But we survived and had a lot of fun.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Many talents
I am declaring Seth's first real word - "ball!" I guess technically he says other things but usually has to be coerced. Not ball though. He is so proud of himself and is always on the lookout for one so he can point it out and yell emphatically "ball!" I never realized just how many balls can be found in our little world until Seth started saying "ball." As we go about our lives he even anticipates where one is going to be and cranes his neck until it comes into view - "BALL!" We stopped at Sports Authority on Tuesday and I thought his head might spin right off his head there were so many to point out! He must have yelled ball 50 times in the span of about 5 minutes. I was thinking that this might be a prime window to teach him some other words since he has been so excited about "ball" but so far we have not had too much luck.
Other things he sort of says:
Juice
Night night
Kitty
Doggy
Mama
Daddy
Uh oh
Whoa!
No
We have only heard him say "no" once but I am sure the floodgates are on the verge of opening with that one. After all he only hears it from us 100 times a day.
He does seem to recognize various animals now, definitely cats and dogs but also birds, cows, sheep, bears, tigers, etc and will correctly point them out in a book if he feels like it. Every dog he sees he points and makes a Barking sound.
Well typing up a blog from my phone is not super easy so time to cut this short. More on the 4th at a later date. And Seth is nearly 18 months so that deserves a real update.
P.S. I am pregnant again. Just found out. Due mid March.
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