My only friend, the end

Got the results of my second HCG this afternoon, it was down to 240. So that, as they say, is THAT. I feel like I'm going to take this one in stride. I'm going to be perfectly honest right now and tell you that when I first found out I was pregnant this time I wasn't exactly thrilled. Eric and I had just talked a few days before that about when we wanted to try again and I said I wasn't ready. Now, don't get me wrong, I did want to have another baby. What I didn't want was to have another miscarriage. See how well that worked out for me? Just to be clear, in the weeks after I found out I really did get excited about it and I am devastated that this is happening again. But somehow I'm finding a place of Zen in the middle of it all. Or maybe I just can't be a good mom and lay around sobbing and feeling sorry for myself all at the same time.

Anyway, I have an appointment in the morning to go get my shot of Rhogam since I am Rh negative. I'll be seeing a provider too and I'm going in armed. I guess most of you don't know this but over the winter my older brother had a stroke. Then a few weeks ago my dad was in the hospital for three days because of a pulmonary embolism. Both of my maternal grandparents have had strokes. Strokes and embolisms are all related to clotting. Clotting around the placenta can clog things up and keep nutrients from getting to the baby, hence causing a miscarriage. On top of that my paternal grandmother apparently had multiple miscarriages (and somehow managed to still have 4 children). I know my doctor had ordered some tests in the very beginning to see if I have some sort of clotting disorder, and hadn't found anything of significance. But I think that was after I'd had 2 miscarriages. Now I've had 5... so I don't know, it seems like maybe it's time to check again! When you get pregnant you are something like 6 times more likely to develop blood clots, so even something insignificant might be worth looking into. I was able to have one healthy baby without any intervention but it seems to me like there's something going on that makes Seth that much more of a miracle.

So stay tuned.