Status unchanged

It's kind of funny how the closer I get to learning my fate, the more time seems to slow down. Friday afternoon wasn't bad at all, yesterday was okay, but today has been a little like torture at times. And I don't even know for sure that I'm going to feel any better if I hear tomorrow morning that my hcg doubled again. In fact, I already know that I'm not going to feel any better until they do another ultrasound and tell me that "it" is definitely a week bigger than it was before. If that makes any sense. My brain keeps having these big swings back and forth from "everything is definitely not okay" to "oh my gosh I'm going to have a baby in 8 months!" and back again. About 15 times a day. Going to the bathroom is like going to the electric chair, I'm so terrified of what I'm going to find in there. Thankfully, nothing too scary has happened in there for awhile. Although still I worry worry worry, mainly that the progesterone I'm taking is just prolonging the inevitable. I sure hope that I don't get bad news tomorrow, even though I still won't feel like I'm out of the woods. Because Eric and I have arrived in Leavenworth for my birthday getaway! And we are staying in the awesome Bavarian Lodge in a Turret Suite! It is sooooo cool. So anyway gotta go, we are going to watch The Sum of All Fears before we fall asleep in this heavenly bed with the Bavarian Teddy Bear between us on the pillow.