Say hello to my OTHER little friend

… her name is "Paranoia." Isn't that a beautiful name? So now, because of what happened last time, you know, the whole "I got my period, oh wait, I didn't, I'm actually pregnant" thing, I am worried about that happening again. Dude, I just can NOT win! I had two crazy dreams two nights in a row now… but they did not involve taking any pregnancy tests this time. One was about me and a couple of friends running in Bloomsday together, so that was weird. I can't remember what I dreamed last night, but it was weird too, I know it. There is one big difference between this time and last time though -- last time we were trying to get pregnant, this time we were trying NOT to. So it would be pretty weird if that whole crazy situation happened again, not to mention it would suck because we all know how it turned out. Anyway, I have decided that I will just take a pregnancy test Sunday morning, since I plan on having a few beers to celebrate the Super Bowl (go Arizona!). That way if it is randomly positive I will only have a day to obsess about it before I can go to the doctor and get checked out. I realize I am already obsessing about it, so it can't get much worse, but you love me anyway!

Also, I have now lost 10 pounds total, yay me! 6 more to go in 4 weeks to reach my goal! I can do it!

Say hello to my little friend

Day 1 is here (so 33 days total this time) and I am scheduled for my sonohystogram on February 4th, at 11:45am. That will be day 10, which I thought was too late, but apparently it isn't. I ended up scheduling it at my OB office which is nice because Dr. H will actually be there in person, rather than him just getting the results faxed to him from Inland Imaging. So I am pretty happy about that. Then, assuming they still don't find anything wrong, we get to try again. So far we haven't had to wait long, so maybe this time next month I will be looking at two little pink lines! I am getting excited again, which I take as a good sign that enough time has passed since the last one.

Tra la la

Well we're closing in on the end of day 29 and "my friend" has not arrived yet. I have been really crabby for about the past week, so that's a good sign. But all bets are off after last month. Believe it or not I am trying really hard not to think about it constantly. About this time in the past I would have already taken at LEAST one pregnancy test, if not more. So far I have restrained myself, even though I did buy a couple just to have them around. They are still in the shrink wrap in the cupboard, I promise!

A bit of a stretch

So this blog is kind of random, not exactly related to pregnancy or getting pregnant, but whatever. I will throw this out there -- I went to the dentist today and my gums were bleeding a lot (I know, gross, I'm sorry) and the hygienist was wondering if I might be pregnant, but alas, no, it is just because I have been a flossing slacker. I did tell her it wasn't out of the question exactly but it was way too early for my gums to be bleeding (I would have had to conceive like yesterday or something) -- and not to worry since she had just taken 4 X-rays. Seriously, I'm fine.

On the plus side, I am happy to announce that since October 27th I have lost 4.4 pounds. Sweet! I know that doesn't seem like much, but if you think about it, with the holidays and everything.... anyway, I am pretty excited. Plus I put on a pair of pants today that I had been avoiding for quite awhile and I didn't have to fear splitting the seams when I sat down. That is always nice. I would really like to lose about 10 more pounds by the end of February - or by the time I am pregnant again, whichever comes first. I will let you know how that goes. It's day 15 btw.

Happy New Year!

So here's the scoop… no sonohystogram until next month. My doctor's office scheduler called me back on Monday and she could not get me in there. Weather was getting really bad, we had two mountain passes to cross, and Eric and I really did not want to get out of town that late on Wednesday. So I just canceled my appointment with Inland Imaging. It was a good thing too because it was really snowy and with the time difference we would have driven most of the way in the dark and arrived pretty late. Which would have been lame on New Years Eve :( I figured it was not a big deal to wait another month and they didn't seem too upset at my doctor's office either. And it was totally worth it. We ended up leaving town before 8am on Wednesday and arrived in lots of time to figure out a gameplan for the evening. Anyway, so I am going to call them back sometime around January 21st-ish, depending on the length of my cycle this time.

I am getting really nervous to get pregnant again. When I think about it I get this really sickly feeling in my stomach. It is not exciting at all anymore. It is so frustrating. It is sooo nerve wracking. Argh. So we are not actually trying this month although we could if we wanted to. We are not trying to avoid it either but there is not the level of dedication we have had in the past. I guess it is nice I am not worried about getting pregnant once we try because that has not been the issue. I am just terrified about what comes after that :( So I did want to wait until after the sonosystogram just in case even though I doubt they will find anything. It's not worth going through another heartbreak and months of waiting around/recovery, when I could just wait one more month to try again.

So that's it. You're up to date :)