Monday, September 29, 2008

State of Confusion

I just got back from my ultrasound appointment. I don't know if the ultrasound technician I had today was just a thousand times more skilled than those that went before her, but my heart started to beat very fast as she zoomed in on what was CLEARLY an embryo looking type thing. There was still no visible heart beat or blood flow but she pointed out a "little" pole. She said it looked to be about half a centimeter long, which she thought was the same as last time, but she said she'd have to go look at the report. Personally, I swear things were not looking like that last week, all I saw was a little blob. She sent us back to the waiting room so she could fill out her report and I sat there and cried wondering what the heck was going on. THEN we got called back to the exam room and the nurse said she was confused about me. She took my vitals and left, and then Dr. H came in and said we must all be pretty confused. UGH!

Basically over my last three ultrasounds, my gestational age measurements have gone from 4 weeks, to 5 weeks, to 6 weeks today. So "something" is clearly growing. Dr. H said they weren't able to get a "crown rump" measurement, and there was no heartbeat, but he kept talking about how I was still sort of in the range of normals. I got the impression he still thinks things aren't going well, but that there was no DEFINITIVE bad news today. Get this, he said (paraphrase) your measurements aren't textbook, but unfortunately babies don't read textbooks. Ha! He said the ball was in my court - we could go ahead with the D&C or wait and do another ultrasound. My choice hinged on whether I wanted to just put this behind me or drive myself crazy for another week. I said I would choose driving myself crazy for another week over driving myself crazy for the rest of my life (going ahead with the D&C and always wondering whether or not if I had waited the baby would have kept growing). He said he thought that was wise.

So there you have it. We cancelled my surgery appointment on Wednesday and I have another U/S scheduled next Monday, same bat time, same bat place.

2 comments:

McMahan family said...

I already talked to you on the phone but of course I have to comment too, just for the sake of tradition. Just got home from the grocery store. My extra Manda prayer this week (in addition to the continuous prayers we've had for you since last year) is for time to fly by and for you to feel even more at peace (if possible) as you have to wait yet again. I'm so glad you started this blog. Thank you for always sharing updates with those of us who check this page like 20 times a day (you know, my mom and me). :)

I'll let you know what we think of the mac & cheese (and veggies).

Shauna said...

Crap, I wrote a nice long comment and then lost connection and the comment. Lame.

Okay, so in all my reading....week 6 is when the heart beat develops - so if you are really 6 weeks the HB should begin soon. This is encouraging news.

Also, could it be that you were just off in your dates? This would be great news...and the best thing for your body is to be stress free - I know - very hard when you are dealing with so much. But try to relax and maybe that will help things along.

I like to think that morning sickness means the little blob (sorry, that's all it looks like at this stage isn't it?) is stealing nutrients from your body...so if you are feeling sick, maybe that thought will help you through until your next ultra sound.

Keeping you in my prayers!!