Another bend in the road

Eric goes back to work on Monday :( I'm freaking out a little about that. One thing I haven't talked enough about is how wonderful he has been. I didn't think it was possible for me to love him more than I already did, but this whole process has really reminded me just how lucky I am. I could gush on and on about all of the fantastic support he gave me during pregnancy and labor, and now continually reminding me what a great job I'm doing. And all the while he is being the most amazing daddy! Babies do wonderful things to husbands, I swear.

Anyway, so Monday things will be different. Back to work he goes, leaving me to figure out this mommy thing on my own for 10 hours a day, give or take. Thankfully my mom is coming to stay with us for the week and help out, but it won't be the same. More than anything I think I'm really going to miss all the time we've gotten to spend together. Sigh. Reality bites.

Two weeks of mommyhood

It's amazing how fast your perception of time can change. The last two weeks or so of pregnancy seemed like two years to me. And the last two weeks since Seth was born have literally flown by. But the days he spent in the NICU seem like ages ago... weird. We've had a busy week and a half since we've been home. Learning how to breastfeed has been a challenge for both of us. On top of everything Seth had a pretty severe tongue tie. This made it pretty difficult for him to suck efficiently, plus he was pretty prone to falling asleep while eating, so our first few nursing sessions were marathons. We saw an ENT specialist on Monday and he took care of that pretty easily. The swabs they put in his mouth to numb him were the worst part. Since then we've been re-learning how to eat and hopefully we'll both be pros in no time at all.

For the most part, I think Seth is a pretty easy baby. He will sometimes sleep 4+ hours at a time, even at night - sometimes. But like a lot of babies, I suppose, he also has his days when he will not sleep and seems to just want to switch from one breast to the other all afternoon. He doesn't really cry unless he's got a reason, he's either hungry, tired, or his diaper is dirty. He's also growing like crazy. Today at his 2 week appointment he was 8 lbs, 15.5 oz and 21.5 inches long. 90th percentile for height/length and 75th percentile for weight. That's my big boy!

I had my 2 week PP checkup today too. I've lost 21 lbs so far... only about 17 more to go to get back to me pre-pregnancy weight. I could stand to lose a few more after that as well but I am not in any hurry. I'm cleared to start exercising again which I will probably try to do pretty soon. I have had a pretty good case of the baby blues. Those first few days with Seth were pretty rough, and exhausting, and sometimes I would look at him and kind of think "who is this and where is his mother??" not to mention "what the heck did I get myself into??" I had expected to have this instant connection, a surge of overwhelming love and affection for him as soon as he was born and it was extremely disappointing and confusing to feel such ambivalence. Instead of overwhelming love and affection, I just felt overwhelmed, period. Thankfully, all of my books and websites assured me that it was normal to feel that way, and that many new moms take 2 weeks or more to really start bonding with their new baby. And they were right. It's been a little slow going but as time passes, and I get more confident as a mom, and get more reasonable amounts of sleep, those warm and fuzzy feelings keep growing. And if there was any doubt left in my mind about how much I love this little guy, it was erased today when the nurse handed him to me bawling his little head off after his little boy parts got the snip. At that moment my heart was breaking and I would have given anything in the world to take away his pain. Not to worry, he is sleeping peacefully now on the couch next to me. Too bad he can't keep sleeping for the next week and not wake up until he is all healed. :(

So all in all, the last two weeks have been a real roller coaster ride. I'm sure it's far from over... our lives have changed forever. But I am definitely looking forward to watching this little baby grow into a man. Whew, what a crazy thought!

Labor pictures

I did add some to my previous birth story posts. So many of them came out really blurry so I was a little limited :(

Seth's birth - the conclusion

So I guess it was around 2am that I got checked again. I was 7cm and totally spent. I looked at Eric and tearfully said I wanted an epidural. There wasn't a lot of discussion, he just said "are you sure?" and I said yes and that was pretty much the end of it. We briefly talked about how much longer it might be before I was complete and just the thought that it might be another 2-3 hours (not to mention most likely the worst 2-3 hours) was more than enough to seal the deal for me. The nurse mentioned that I could opt for some pain medication through my IV which might give me an hour or so of relief, but I said if I'm going to give up on the drug free birth I might as well just get the epidural. She didn't waste any time and called up anesthesia. And bless his heart the anesthesiologist showed up so fast, it was almost as if he had been waiting outside the door. I expected to feel like a failure, but I didn't. Still don't. I'm really proud of myself for making it as far as I did.

After the epidural went in the nurse put me on oxygen. She had noticed before that the baby was showing some signs of fatigue, another reason I'm happy I did what I did. When I was getting the oxygen he was a lot happier I guess. Natalie and my mom came in to say hi and then we turned out the lights so I could rest up for the big show. I dozed in and out of sleep for the next several hours and was complete a little after 5am. The nurse called Dr. Z and said she wanted to let me "labor down" for awhile and then maybe start pushing at 5:30am. He said why don't we make it 6am and then Dr. H could be there for the delivery. Yay! Dr. H originally had they day off because he was going skiing. Lucky for me, the weather was 40 degrees and raining so he decided to go to work after all. I was SO incredibly happy to hear that. Throughout this whole process I have really gotten to be fond of Dr. H and the thought of someone else being there really didn't sit well with me. Anyway... I started pushing at 6:20am and kept at it for just shy of 2 hours. The first hour though I only pushed a few times because my contractions had slowed down to about every 7 minutes. Finally they started some Pitocin a little after 7am so we could get the show on the road. Pushing was crazy. First of all it was so hard, way harder than I could have imagined. It took every ounce of strength I had in me to get little (ha!) Seth out. It was also a tiny bit nerve wracking because he was having some decelerations and the nurse would have to reach in and tickle his head a bit after each contraction. Then of course I was pretty numb so it took awhile to get the hang of really effective pushes, even though everyone said I was doing awesome from the very start. But I could tell everyone's encouragement got more enthusiastic partway through the process :) Oh, also the shift changed about 7:30am and our new nurse was the same one we had had for the ECV, so that was another gift from God. It was really funny too because I could feel Seth's feet way up by my ribs and his head coming out and it seemed like he was a mile long.

When we were getting close to the end the room turned into a circus. I could not believe how many people were milling around with me laying there totally exposed...and not caring. A tech came in to set up all the supplies. Dr. H showed up, along with a resident. My nurse, and a student. About 5 NICU people. Eric held one leg and the nursing student was on the other side. At the very end it got so confusing because Dr. H would say "okay now push, ok now stop, ok give me half a push, stop stop stop" etc etc. I didn't want a mirror and I didn't want to reach down and touch his head. It was all so weird!! Finally he was out and everyone said "look! look at your baby!" And I looked, and I cried with relief and happiness and excitement. Then everything kind of went to hell. Dr. H was suctioning like crazy and I watched, and he didn't cry. I could hear him whimpering a little, and he was squirming, but he didn't cry. Eric cut the cord and they took him over to the warmer and went to work on him. I just stared over there holding Eric's hand watching him wiggle around, although I could only catch brief glimpses of his little legs and feet there were so many people crowded around him. I only found out later that they had called a code, and there was a light flashing above the door to my room, and about 10 more NICU people had showed up. It was totally surreal and I'm not sure why I was as calm as I was. It barely occurred to me that he might not be alright. When I heard them say they were trying to intubate I had a brief moment of worry but for some reason I just had this feeling that he was going to be fine. After they took him out and Eric went with him though I started crying and asked someone to go get my mom from the waiting room. She came in and prayed and stayed with me while I got stitched up.

Dr. H said despite his best efforts I had a 2nd degree tear. It seemed like they (he and the resident) were stitching forever. I remember thinking in mild annoyance that I hadn't agreed to having a resident practice on my girl parts, but I wasn't about to say anything. I asked how many stitches I was getting and he said "just one" sort of jokingly. Finally they were done and I got cleaned up and moved to my new room down the hall. My new nurse came in to check on me and make sure my uterus was shrinking down like it should. It wasn't long before I was sobbing, staring down at my empty squishy belly and wishing there was something I could do to get him back in there. But pretty soon Eric came down to wheel me up to the NICU to see my little babe.



My stay in the hospital was stressful and wonderful at the same time. All of my nurses were amazing and made sure I had everything I needed. It was really hard being there though and not having Seth in the room. I felt so irrelevant. Like I had just been an incubator for 10 months and now someone else was taking care of him. I couldn't even touch him really, so hanging out in the NICU seemed silly, and the nurses kept telling me the best thing I could do was get some rest and start pumping. But I still felt guilty just hanging out in my room so much. I stayed two nights, Dr. H wasn't in any hurry to discharge me since Seth was still in the hospital. Unfortunately though, he couldn't really justify keeping me longer than 48 hours or so after my delivery so we had to get out on Thursday afternoon.

The next two days and nights were SO hard. It was a real bummer leaving the hospital without our baby. Fortunately we had the opportunity to stay at a friend's house so that I wouldn't have to go to our real home empty handed. But we had started breastfeeding Seth about every 4 hours so we had to be at the hospital most of the time anyway. I was really reluctant to miss any feedings even though the nurses had plenty of breast milk that I had pumped before Seth was able to eat. The first night we went home around 10pm and were back at the hospital by 5am. But of course by then my milk was really coming in so I had to wake up a couple of times every night to pump. Thankfully on Friday our NICU nurse told us about the Ronald McDonald family rooms they had over in the children's hospital - little rooms with beds in them that are open during the weekdays for parents/families of kids in the hospital. So we took advantage of that a couple of times which helped a lot since we didn't have to use precious sleeping time for a commute back home. The days flew by and before we knew it we were home with Seth on Sunday the 17th.

Our view that morning when we woke up :)



So I think we're all caught up. Congratulations if you made it through my novel :) I'm sure it was an excruciating level of detail for some, but I know I'll go back and read this myself about a hundred times so I couldn't leave anything out! Perfect timing, sounds like Seth is waking up and ready for lunch.

The joys of parenthood

Seth really has a knack for waiting until Daddy is holding him to have his worst blowouts. I swear in the last week or so he has done it like 15 times. Just now Eric got done changing his diaper, came down and sat back down on the couch and immediately Seth let loose again. It was so freaking hilarious! The trouble is that laughing puts a lot of pressure on my stitches so my laughing fit went a little like this "haha ow haha ow ow haha." Hehe. So far he has yet to do it to me although last night we did have our first sprinkler moment during a diaper change. Luckily it was aimed away from mommy's face. Whew!

I can't believe he is already 1 week old today!


This kid is going to be making me laugh for the rest of my life.

Seth's Birth - Part 3

As they were getting ready to start my IV Eric asked if they could set up a saline lock and the nurse said absolutely. But she said I was pretty dehydrated so she wanted to get some fluids in me first and then if we wanted they could take me off. I totally didn't care and ultimately stayed hooked up for the duration. My nurse tried and failed to get a line in on my right hand and called someone else in who successfully placed the IV on my left wrist. Events after that are a little fuzzy. The nurse read through our birth plan and said it was pretty reasonable. The only thing was that because of the meconium she said they weren't going to be able to put baby on my chest/belly right away because standard procedure was to get him some extra suctioning. Natalie showed up around 8:30pm or so. I ate some broth because I was starving. I took a few more miserable trips to the bathroom, during which I could not be quiet during contractions. Although I had read and heard that moaning and groaning actually helps ease pain and I found that it really was kind of effective.



I think around 10pm or so the nurse checked me (and I had to give Natalie the boot) for the first time since my water broke and I was 5.5cm. I was so disappointed but the nurse said that was actually great progress. Huh?? I really started to have my doubts then. I was so tired already - not only was the whole process physically hard work but I was also really sleepy having only slept a couple of hours the night before. And again, the pain. Oh THE PAIN! Taking one contraction at a time is an excellent strategy but I had really counted on having breaks in between. Eric did an awesome job of reminding me each time to just get through this one. I'm sure around that time I started looking at him like a scared animal after each one was over. I know at least once I said "I can't do this." And he said "yes you can, you're fine now right?" and I was like "not really." There was also a long frustrating period of time where the contraction monitor was not doing its job so I never knew how close I was to getting through each one. The nurse finally did actually switch it out but I think that was way later. I did manage to suffer through a few contractions in various positions intended to turn the baby. I was on my hands and knees for awhile. Standing up leaning over the bed felt okay sometimes, especially if I shifted my weight back and forth from my right to left hip. Side lying was HORRIBLE. I'm not sure why... you would think that would be the easiest position to really relax in, but for the most part I was really only able to when I was sitting up.

Ok crying baby. Of course, he sleeps all day and now when it's bedtime he freaks out :) More later...

Homecoming

Whew, we made it home and through the night in one piece. It has been a very trying 18 hours or so but we are starting to figure some things out. One - it is cold in our house and Seth needs to be bundled up if we plan on him sleeping at all. Two - newborns just eat ALL the time and that's okay. Three - it's going to be helpful to have multiples of certain things so I don't have to move them around to the various places in the house I might want to nurse. Speaking of which...

Seth's birth - Part Deux

Immediately after my water broke the contractions and pain really intensified. We headed to our room and I got settled into bed so they could place an IV and get me hooked up to the monitors. Oh, but first I had to go to the bathroom - and I will note here that throughout my labor, going to the bathroom was absolute and pure hell. But I knew in the back of my mind that having a full bladder would interfere with my progress and the baby moving down so I tried to go often. And it sucked SO much. First of all, every time I moved at all it seemed like that would initiate a contraction. Then once I got to the toilet, I had so much pressure down there all the time I really felt like I had to brace myself on the edge of the tub and the support bar, especially during contractions. And as we all know, tensing up like that does not help matters. In hindsight it amazes me all these women you see on tv who find it easier to labor on the toilet or on a birthing stool. Me not so much. So anyway, that first time when I pulled the towel away I noticed it had a couple of green spots on it and my heart sank - meconium. Dangit. It was something I was kind of prepared for since I was so overdue, but it was still a disappointment because I knew it meant that he was in some kind of distress, even if just a little. Anyway, then I got to the bed and hooked up to the monitors. With those first few contractions, Whoosh, fluid would just GUSH out. I remember wondering in amazement how much water could possibly be in there. It wasn't long before the doctor on call came in, Dr. Z, to introduce himself. We discussed our plan to try to get through this without any pain medications and to be honest I got the distinct impression he thought that was pretty stupid. But as we sat there and I had contraction after contraction he and the nurse both said I was doing great and made it look easy. Just before he left he asked me if I was feeling them a lot in my back and I said yes. He looked at the nurse and said "you know what you have to do." And she nodded. My heart sank a little more - I was pretty sure I knew what he was getting at, but he went ahead and explained. The back pain as well as my contraction pattern - 2 really close together and then a little longer break, then another 2, etc - indicated the baby was probably posterior. Which means his back was up against my spine and his face was facing towards my front. This is not the best way for babies to come out because a) labor is usually longer, b) labor is usually more painful and c) they just don't fit that way through the pelvis as well. So we needed to try some different positions to get him to flip around, such as laying on my side, sitting forward on the ball, hands and knees, etc. Unfortunately by that time about the only position I found the least bit comfortable was sitting on my bottom with my back as straight as it could be. But again, in all my research, I knew that changing positions often during labor would not only help it progress faster, but it would help turn the baby, which would also make it progress faster and also hopefully less painful. So I moved down onto the ball and tried to manage. I could sort of lean forward in between the contractions, but during them I had to sit straight up again, there was just no getting around it.

Originally I had not wanted to be monitored continuously but it proved to be really helpful because Eric would watch the monitor and tell me when each contraction had peaked. As soon as he said those words I would start to feel a little better. After each one was over he would tell me what a great job I was doing, and rub my back, and remind me to just take one contraction at a time. I was surprised to find that when things really got going I didn't want to be touched during the contractions for the most part, it was too distracting. Like I said though, in between them I was still in a lot of pain and oh wait did I mention I was in significant pain pretty much the whole time?

On the plus side, my room had a great view! ;) Not that I noticed.



Holy cow, this is a novel. I haven't even gotten to my IV yet! But I gotta go get some sleep now.

Yum, yum!

Seth got his first taste of the good stuff this afternoon - from a bottle unfortunately but I am happy he got to eat something finally. After he gobbled that down like a champ we got to try for the real thing and he screamed bloody murder. I guess he wasn't hungry anymore :) So we settled for the pacifier and a little nap snuggled up skin to skin, which was wonderful. I imagine it is a little easier for him to sleep with something in his tummy.


I have been having some trouble coming to grips with the concept of motherhood since we have been separated so much since he was born. I told Eric today that it's crazy how not so long ago I couldn't wait for him to come out, and now there are times when I would give anything to be pregnant again. It's so surreal having had him inside me for 10 months and then suddenly he's not only OUT of there but also not even usually in the room... it has made an already difficult battle with the raging hormones, well, a little more intense I think. But I think once we get the hang of breastfeeding that will make a big difference. We are going to go up to the NICU again pretty soon to give it another shot.

After that I am probably getting discharged :( I have mixed feelings about that. I have been really happy with our time in the hospital over the last 3 days, almost 4 days now I guess. All of our nurses have been fabulous and have made absolutely sure I was comfortable and had everything I need. On the other hand, it might be nice having a little privacy again, even though privacy pretty much went out the window during labor and delivery. That's another story I guess. Eric has also been taking great care of me and has been a huge help. I couldn't have done any of this without him.

The time has flown by. Here's a little peek into my last few days.

Eric's bed... every morning he would wake up and the sheet would be on the floor. It just didn't want to stay on as he thrashed around in his sleep all night :)


Flowers from auntie Jen, and an elephant and balloon from the McMahan family. And the glider that I never sat in even once. It was really squeaky anyway. The one in the NICU is much nicer.

And last but not least, my bed.


I am definitely feeling a lot better today and I'm glad I got to stay a little longer than usual. I had no idea how sore I would be - everywhere - after all was said and done. Probably if we were taking Seth home we would have gotten out of here yesterday but it has been good to have a home base while he is still here. By the way he is definitely going to be here for 7 days at least, maybe 10 depending on how his labs look this afternoon. Okay well I'm off to see my little babe. Wish me luck!

Seth’s Birth – Not quite what we had planned – Part One

Well I thought I better start writing this before I forget everything that happened – and while the awesome nurses in the NICU are still attending to my newborn’s every need. I am already forgetting some of the details, but I’ll do my best.

I guess where I left off with the pre-labor part of the story was when I tried to take a nap after my doctor’s appointment, so I’ll start there. By that time I was starting to feel really crampy again, similar to how things were after my appointment last Monday when Dr. H had stripped my membranes. Except this time I was also definitely having some contractions as well and it was getting a little hard to distinguish one from the other. I lay down in bed to see if I could sleep but basically I was in *some* kind of pain almost constantly so sleeping was not really an option. Around 2:30pm I had Eric come in and help me time what I thought were the contractions and from his notes it looks like they were about every 6 minutes anywhere from 25-60 seconds long. It’s hard to describe what I was feeling, but the every 6 minute stat was not counting a lot of in stuff in between where I was feeling pain but just thinking to myself hmm, is that one or is it just a cramp or?? I was also feeling a ton of pressure and pinching any time I stood up, and any time the baby moved it was pretty painful as well. It was really confusing because a lot of what I was experiencing, I had felt before – either over the prior 3 days or on Monday last week and it had led to nothing. Anyway… a lot of the pain was in my lower back so I had Eric rubbing it and at least initially it felt really good for him to push really hard with his fists and stroke upwards. He tried rolling with the tennis ball too, but that didn’t work as well – it was a little too small, and not warm like his hands were. I guess a little before 3pm I thought maybe I would call my doctor’s office and just talk through what was going on with the triage nurse and see what they wanted me to do. The nurse called me back around 3:30pm and I explained that I just couldn’t tell a lot of the time if I was just feeling cramps from Dr. H stripping my membranes or if I was possibly in labor. She said the only way to tell was to go down to the hospital and get hooked up to the monitors. She said if they aren’t contractions they’ll just send me back home but that it was no big deal. I felt that she made a point to ensure that I shouldn’t feel silly for going in just to check, which was nice because all along I had been worried about going to the hospital too soon and having it be a false alarm. Anyway, it worked and so we got into gear.

I hadn’t had a shower yet that day so I got cleaned up, we packed the car and headed to labor & delivery. On the way to the hospital I was loosely keeping track of contractions and they seemed to be around 3 minutes apart the whole way. Luckily we live only about 15 minutes away. Oh, and wow everyone was right about riding in the car during labor – not fun. And Eric thought he would do me a favor and take the freeway because he thought it would be less bumpy – it wasn’t. That route took us through downtown which is a lot of one way streets, which seemed to me like a lot of turns, and my belly rolling from side to side was horrible. I told Eric that if this was a trial run we’d need to go across the South Hill next time. Anyway, we probably got to the hospital around 4:30pm. I was a little surprised at how nonchalant the girl at the reception desk was – it seemed like 5 minutes before she got done fiddling around with some paperwork she was dealing with and acknowledged our presence. But from that point on, almost every single hospital staff person we encountered was awesome. I got hooked up to the monitors pretty quickly and discovered I was indeed having contractions, every minute! They did slow down to about 4 minutes apart though by the time they got done running the strip they needed. They checked my cervix and I was still about 3cm which was really no change from my appt that morning. The nurse called it a “loose” 3 and I remembered that in the office when Dr. H had checked me he initially said 3cm but then he was sort of talking to himself as he wrote it down in my chart and I heard him say 3-4cm. So they told us to do some laps for an hour and meet the nurse back in the triage room at 6pm. We got started and it was getting pretty difficult to walk at all by then, let alone during the contractions. After awhile I asked Eric keep track of the time between my stops to lean against the wall or sit down on whatever happened to be close by, and by the end of the hour it was roughly about every 2 minutes. I got checked again around 6:15pm and was still just around 4-4.5cm, so they hooked me back up to the monitors and called the doctor on call to see what he wanted us to do. He said I was kind of on the fence, so I should walk around for another hour and see what happened. They just didn’t want to send me home and then have me come right back. So I got dressed at about 6:45pm and headed to the bathroom for a quick stop before we got started on our laps. As soon as the bathroom door shut I had a contraction and leaned over to brace myself on the handicap bar. I felt something like the baby kicking, a dribble, a little pop, and then SPLOOSH, I was soaked. I stood there for a second trying to come to terms with what had just happened and then I opened the door and announced to everyone in the vicinity that my water broke. The nurses took one look at me up and down and sort of laughed and said “It sure did! We’ll go get a room ready for you!” I got changed into a gown and we started calling our friends and family to spread the word.

To be continued…

In other news… I got to hold my baby tonight finally!!!! He is doing AWESOME and is out of the tent for the time being. I really need to figure out my new camera. We took a TON of pictures and almost all of them are blurry :( Oh well, I got to see the real thing in crystal clear focus!


YAY!!!

Seth 1 day old

I don't have any pictures from today yet because he is still under the oxygen tent and today they have the humidity on so it is really pretty hard to even see him. But here are a couple from yesterday.



He is getting better all the time, just not as fast as I'd like. But they are turning down the oxygen little by little. Yesterday it was 100% and today they've gotten it down to 41%. The goal is 21% and then I think he can come out of the tent. Until then I can't touch him or even hardly see him they have him bundled up so much.

Still trying to gather my thoughts and strength to write out the birth story. In the meantime we are just resting and killing time until we can hold our son. I can't wait!

Happy Birthday Seth Allen!

I'll work on a more detailed birth story in a little while after I get some rest but I wanted to get an update posted on our little angel. He came into the world this morning about 8:17am weighing 8lbs even. I think. We are still kind of working on getting his real stats, as his debut was a little chaotic. When my water broke last night they had noticed there was just a touch of meconium in it, so thankfully when he was born the NICU staff was already in my room all set up and ready to go. Pretty much throughout 1st and 2nd stage labor he was doing great on the monitors. But then when he finally came out he just wasn't wanting to breathe on his own. I got to see him for just a brief minute while Dr. H was suctioning out his little nose and mouth, and I heard him making some little baby whimpering sounds. But they took him right over to the warmer, sounded the alarm, and was immediately surrounded by a whole crowd of people and I was hearing people say scary words like "intubate" and NOT hearing him cry :( Pretty soon they whisked him upstairs to the NICU and Eric went along with him while I got stitched up (2nd degree tear, more on that later).

Dr. H went up to check on him while I was getting cleaned up and came back to give me an update. He explained that Seth had a pneumothorax, which essentially is a collapsed lung. Apparently they aren't sure why, but upon taking his first breath he just got a little hole in his lung, causing air to leak into the chest cavity, which in turn makes it hard for the lung to inflate. Thankfully this apparently is a relatively minor issue and is easy to treat. FINALLY about 2 1/2 hours after he was born I got to make my way up to the NICU. We met briefly with Dr. B, the NICU doc taking care of him, and he reiterated what Dr. H had explained, adding that he had gotten these little holes in both lungs. The right side being very minor. Both will just heal on their own and he felt the X-rays were looking very very good. Not life threatening at all. Unfortunately, he had also inhaled some meconium and therefore needs to be on antibiotics and stay in the NICU for most likely 5-7 days. Boo.

So currently he is under the warmer inside an oxygen tent. When we went in he was pretty pissed off, I'm sure from getting poked and prodded for the last couple of hours. But finally the nurses finished up their business and he calmed right down and went to sleep when Eric and I started talking to him. He is gorgeous! Like a lot of overdue babies he has got a lot of dry flaky skin, but he's got 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect little toes, and looks JUST LIKE his daddy! If we're lucky I will get to hold him later today but probably not until tomorrow. Once again we are on his schedule. :) Right now he is just getting some sugar water and electrolytes through his IV and hopefully here in a bit after I have a nap I'll start pumping and he'll be getting the good stuff before we know it.

Thanks to everyone for all your prayers and words of encouragement. Like I said, I'm sure later tonight I will get the full birth story up and going but for now I have really got to get some rest, it has been a LONG 48 hours with very little sleep for this mama.

Slow and steady wins the race

Baby doctor appointment this morning at 41 weeks and 3 days. Blood pressure was 120/72, weight 192 (!!), and baby's heart rate was 139. I am 3cm dilated and about 80% effaced. Yay!! Dr. H stripped my membranes again and WOWEE! I thought I knew what to expect having had it done a few times already but boy oh boy membrane stripping at 3cm is a different story than at 1cm. I was totally caught off guard and involuntarily yelped a little bit. Dr. H apologized and said typically that will get labor started within 24-48 hours since I'm dilated enough he had a little better access this time. If not, well, then we are going ahead and getting induced on Wednesday morning at 6am. Since I've made some progress we can skip the Cervadil, etc, and go straight to Pitocin and/or AROM (Artificial Rupture of Membranes, i.e. breaking my water). I asked him if we could try just breaking my water first so I could avoid drugs and he (somewhat reluctantly) agreed that I could probably have 3-4 hours to get going on my own before they'd start pushing the Pitocin. So I can live with that. Being induced was not something I had planned on, but was always a possibility in the back of my mind. Except when I pictured it, I assumed it would be before my due date because the baby was starting to get too big or something. Haha. So much for that. Anyway, if it comes down to an induction, I've had quite a bit of time to think it over (and do my research of course) and I am at peace with going that route. One thing I am happy about is that I have not felt pressured to do it. Dr. H brought it up today as just an option, and not at all in a manner that suggested I would be a fool to keep waiting. I'll honestly be surprised if we even make it to Wednesday and I'll be even more surprised if my water breaking isn't enough to jump start things. On the other hand, this pregnancy has been full of surprises, especially here at the tail end.

Dr. H also confirmed the results of the ultrasound and NST were fine. Estimated weight of baby Seth is 8lbs 11oz, which means he's grown about 1/2 lb per week since the last ultrasound. At that rate by Wed he'll be over 9lbs, DANG! Granted, that is just an estimate and can be off by 1/2 lb to 1 lb in either direction. I also have a normal amount of amniotic fluid, so plenty of cushion in there for my little guy. For now.

Ok I only got about 3 or 4 hours of sleep last night so I am going to go try to take a long nap snuggled in bed with Max. And Eric started his vacation today too so he can be available later on this afternoon when things really get going ;)

Ugh, false alarm

So they have all but stopped. I'm so confused. Bleh. Game off.

Pre Labor

I'm calling this day 3 of early labor, even though I have been having contractions I think longer than that. But this is the 3rd day I can feel them in my back, they are usually painful, and they occur throughout the day and most of the night. Obviously I don't time them when I'm sleeping, but the last few nights when I wake up to pee I am usually having a contraction as well. They do seem to be getting Longer, Stronger, and Closer Together (a phrase that was hammered into us during our childbirth classes). They are just taking their DAMN SWEET TIME about it. Sorry. I cannot even tell you how disappointed I will be if I go to the doctor tomorrow and he says I am still 1 cm dilated. I might just leap off the table and strangle his "helper" (he always calls a nurse or MA in to chaperon when he does an exam, by opening the door and saying "I need a helper"). Hehe. Not that she ever lifts a finger to help, she just stands there. Anyway, I digress. The point is, usually it's just some random person that I don't even know so she would be an easy target for my aggression. My last three contractions were 7, 6, and 7 minutes apart. I do find it is much easier to keep myself occupied and just yell to Eric when I'm having them. That way I am not watching the clock when I'm expecting one and getting all frustrated when it doesn't happen.

We went for a walk today at Riverfront park. During the walk I was SO uncomfortable. It was like one long contraction almost, I had so much pressure and cramps. Ugh. We had to stop several times and Eric practiced a little effleurage (rubbing my belly), which felt really really good. We'll definitely have to give that a try during active labor, one of these days. By the time we got back to the car I think Eric was about ready to head straight to the hospital but I definitely thought we needed to just go home and rest and see how things progressed. So here we are. We've been timing them now since just before 3pm and they've definitely been speeding up. My last two were 5 and 4 minutes apart. Still about 30-40 seconds long. Oh My Goodness. I need to chill out because if I have a couple more this close together my head is going to explode from excitement! I just KNOW my uterus is just playing tricks on me again. Stay tuned...

41 and 1/7 weeks

Well, no significant progress this morning that I can tell. I managed to get back to sleep this morning around 5am and stayed in bed until about 10am. Eric (as promised) took me down to the Spa, Pool, and Barbecue show this morning when we got up. What a disappointment. I mean, really, once you've seen one hot tub you've pretty much seen them all. I will say though that nowadays they've got built in radios and tvs and everything so that is pretty cool. And pretty pricey. One we saw was $19,000 and I don't even think it had any built in technology! So we spent about 15 minutes walking around in there and trying to dodge the sales people, which was hard because the sales people outnumbered customers about 3 to 1. Next we headed to Costco and wandered up and down just about every single aisle. This was exponentially more interesting than the hot tubs, but ultimately ended up being a lot more expensive too. We went to Fred Meyer last of all on the way home to pick up my final supplies for spring roll making this afternoon. All the while I was still having periodic contractions, but I haven't started timing them yet. If I had to make a wild guess they were probably still about 15 minutes apart. There were a few in there that were a little tough to walk through, but none that seemed as strong as I felt at the crack of dawn this morning laying in bed. So I'm guessing I've got at least another day of this before my little monkey makes his debut.

Game on?

Late last night the contractions seemed to pick up a little speed, and definitely intensity. I was able to get to sleep around 1am and at that time they seemed to be about 7 minutes apart, but I wasn't keeping very close track. I think I only timed a few. I woke up about 3:30am still feeling them. Now I can not only feel them in my back but at times radiating down my legs. Score! And Yikes! They are still not very close together, about 7-10 minutes... but it almost seems like sometimes I have a mini one in between? I really need to get back in bed and try to get some more sleep in case this is the real deal but I might be getting too excited to sleep. Oh, and it is snowing! Fun!

So... I think things are moving along, albeit SLOWLY. Eric is threatening to take me to the fairgrounds today for the pool/spa and barbecue show if we aren't headed to the hospital. Someone at work told him that their wife's dad took her to an RV show when she was pregnant and she went into labor after climbing in and out of motor homes all day. Not sure how that would apply to pools and barbecues but at least walking around would do me some good. I'm starting to feel hopeful that at least we won't make it to my appointment with Dr. H on Monday morning!

Oh, here comes another contraction now. Just 6 minutes from the last one. Whew. Short and sweet though. I wanted to mention for the record that Seth has been extremely active in the last 7 hours or so. He moves all around and boy is he getting STRONG. It amazes me that my water doesn't break he flops around with such gusto at times!

Ok I'm going to try to go back to sleep. I hope I wake up to a nice blanket of snow and excruciating pain. Wish me luck!

41 weeks

So... lots of contractions all day today. Still pretty weak sauce, but more than yesterday... so I feel like we're making some progress.... maybe? I've also felt pretty crampy off and on kind of like I did on Monday after Dr. H stripped the ol' membranes. This week long preview of labor is really getting on my nerves though. I hope I am rewarded at the end with the real thing being nice and speedy. Anyone want to revise their predictions on how much this kiddo is going to weigh when he comes out?? ;) He's gotta be creeping into the 9lb neighborhood by now, that's all I gotta say!

Overdue Baby Tests

So yesterday afternoon we went and had an ultrasound. We watched the baby practice breathing, measured his head, his femur, and watched his little heart beat. They also measured the amniotic fluid around him. He still has his one little leg up in front of his face and his other one bent. Poor little guy, it is looking really crowded in there, so we weren't able to get any good pictures. He still has his head down, and he's looking towards my back left side, so that's good. My doctor has to review the results but I assume they will be calling me if he sees anything he doesn't like. But the ultrasound tech said everything looks fine. Oh, and it's still a BOY, we made sure to confirm that this time.

Then this morning we went to the hospital and had a non-stress test. Basically they just hooked me up to the fetal heart rate monitor and another belt to check for contractions. I had to sit there for 20 minutes and I had a little button I was supposed to push every time I felt the baby move. The idea is his heart rate should accelerate when he moved or during a contraction. He passed that test with flying colors. We were in and out of there in a snap. I did have 3 little contractions during the time I was hooked up to the monitor.


So, the good news is that he appears to be healthy in there. Just needs to cook awhile longer. I read somewhere last night that 40% of women deliver around 41 weeks. 40% That's a lot. So I guess I'm not that weird.

Last night I had several contractions at the end of the day, continuing for awhile after I got into bed. There were about 4 or 5 that were 10 minutes apart before I finally fell asleep. But clearly they weren't the real thing since here we are again, T+6 days and still babyless. Not feeling that great today, I have a bit of a headache - I think maybe because I didn't drink enough water yesterday. So maybe I'll have to try and get a nap in this afternoon when Eric goes to work.

T + 5 days

Well here we are again, still pregnant! I keep waking up thinking maybe I am leaking a little fluid, but after awhile it seems to just go back to the usual dampness that has been going on for months. If my water breaks it better be a big dramatic gush like in the movies or else I am afraid I won't know the difference.

Seth seems to have wanted to wait until Auntie Natalie came back from her trip. So I guess maybe he'll be coming today or tomorrow since Nat is probably in the air right at this very moment between San Fran and Spokane. I've been having a few contractions this morning again, but nothing too exciting. I'm heading out grocery shopping and to pick up another blank VHS tape so we can record our ultrasound this afternoon. I am excited we have another opportunity to take a peek in there and see how he's looking. But it sure will be nice to see him in color!

Back to "normal"

Pretty much as soon as I finished writing my post last night, I laid down on the couch to watch a movie and the cramps went away. Thankfully. They were really unpleasant and I didn't feel they were productive at all. So I got a GREAT night's sleep. I think I only woke up once for a trip to the bathroom, not much itching, and no late night hot flashes. Feeling pretty refreshed today and back to having some really wimpy contractions very far apart. I have to remind myself over and over again that people do not remain pregnant indefinitely. So just trying to savor these last days of getting to feel baby move around inside of me, always having him with me, and not having to change diapers. And who knows, maybe it will be tonight?

Holy cramps, Batman!

Whew, all day since my appointment this morning I have been having these horrendous cramps. I tried to keep track of them for awhile to see if there was a pattern but there doesn't really seem to be. Not only that but sometimes they last for like 3 or 4 minutes at a time. Apparently this is quite common after stripping of the membranes, but it did not happen last time, at least not for nearly this long. I think on Wednesday I was only mildly uncomfortable for a couple of hours after he did it. So I am hopeful that maybe this time it was a little more successful since we're going on 9 or 10 hours now. I've been up and about all afternoon too doing random things around the house, vacuuming, making curry, alphabetizing my VHS tapes, you know, really important stuff. So now I am going to lay on the couch and watch Prozac Nation and hope that the "cramps" progress to "contractions" and I can finally have this baby already.

In case that doesn't happen, we have an ultrasound on Wednesday at 4:45pm, and the NST on Thursday morning at 9:30am.

40.43 weeks

Baby doctor visit this morning. B/P 122/78. Baby's HR 132 (he must have been napping). Wt was 188 I think. Dr. H asked me if I really gained 7 lbs since Wed. Uh, no. Stripped membranes again, but basically no change to my cervix since last time - that's the bad news. The good news is because I still don't have an induction friendly cervix there's no pressure to induce, yay! We are going to have an ultrasound and NST later this week though just to check on Seth and make sure he's still doing good. Then another appt next Monday at which point we'll probably start talking more seriously about inducing. But I got the impression that Dr. H seems to think I'll just go into labor on my own sometime over the next week. He actually said I "probably" wouldn't make it to Monday. So soon. SOON.

January 3rd

The last few days have been such a tease. The suspense is really killing me. I woke up again last night dripping with sweat around 3am. Just a hot flash or something though, it didn't seem to be connected with any contraction that I noticed. Hardly any contractions yesterday during the day, a couple in the evening but still thus far nothing even remotely painful. Watched The Business of Being Born last night. That was really interesting but it instilled quite the fear of being induced, ugh. Please please please come on your own Seth. And make it snappy!

Due date + 1

I never thought in a million years that I would be OVER due. Although when I think about it, I have always had irregular, long cycles... so I guess it's not all that weird. And 40 weeks is just an AVERAGE. This kid is clearly not average.

I have been having irregular contractions now for almost 2 days! On average about 20 minutes apart or so... some are closer than that and at times I'll seem to go an hour or more in between. But I haven't been keeping very close track. This morning about 4am I woke up drenched in sweat having one pretty strong one, but hardly anything worth mentioning since then. Unless they were coming in my sleep, which is entirely possible I suppose since for the most part they have been pretty weak. I'm still hoping he'll show up this weekend. I'm afraid if we make it to Monday I won't be able to fight off an induction. I'm getting pretty itchy again :(

Happy New Year!

I think I've been having some mild painless contractions for more than about 12 hours now. They weren't strong enough to keep me from sleeping last night at all, and I haven't noticed a pattern yet, but it's something I guess. It seemed like every one of the 50 times I got up to pee last night my whole uterus was solid as a rock. Crossing my fingers that today is the day - or at least the start. I hear New Year's Day isn't the greatest day for a birthday. Everyone is too hung over to celebrate :)

Happy Due Date! 40 weeks! I guess I will have to get one more round of belly pictures!