It's amazing how fast your perception of time can change. The last two weeks or so of pregnancy seemed like two years to me. And the last two weeks since Seth was born have literally flown by. But the days he spent in the NICU seem like ages ago... weird. We've had a busy week and a half since we've been home. Learning how to breastfeed has been a challenge for both of us. On top of everything Seth had a pretty severe tongue tie. This made it pretty difficult for him to suck efficiently, plus he was pretty prone to falling asleep while eating, so our first few nursing sessions were marathons. We saw an ENT specialist on Monday and he took care of that pretty easily. The swabs they put in his mouth to numb him were the worst part. Since then we've been re-learning how to eat and hopefully we'll both be pros in no time at all.
For the most part, I think Seth is a pretty easy baby. He will sometimes sleep 4+ hours at a time, even at night - sometimes. But like a lot of babies, I suppose, he also has his days when he will not sleep and seems to just want to switch from one breast to the other all afternoon. He doesn't really cry unless he's got a reason, he's either hungry, tired, or his diaper is dirty. He's also growing like crazy. Today at his 2 week appointment he was 8 lbs, 15.5 oz and 21.5 inches long. 90th percentile for height/length and 75th percentile for weight. That's my big boy!
I had my 2 week PP checkup today too. I've lost 21 lbs so far... only about 17 more to go to get back to me pre-pregnancy weight. I could stand to lose a few more after that as well but I am not in any hurry. I'm cleared to start exercising again which I will probably try to do pretty soon. I have had a pretty good case of the baby blues. Those first few days with Seth were pretty rough, and exhausting, and sometimes I would look at him and kind of think "who is this and where is his mother??" not to mention "what the heck did I get myself into??" I had expected to have this instant connection, a surge of overwhelming love and affection for him as soon as he was born and it was extremely disappointing and confusing to feel such ambivalence. Instead of overwhelming love and affection, I just felt overwhelmed, period. Thankfully, all of my books and websites assured me that it was normal to feel that way, and that many new moms take 2 weeks or more to really start bonding with their new baby. And they were right. It's been a little slow going but as time passes, and I get more confident as a mom, and get more reasonable amounts of sleep, those warm and fuzzy feelings keep growing. And if there was any doubt left in my mind about how much I love this little guy, it was erased today when the nurse handed him to me bawling his little head off after his little boy parts got the snip. At that moment my heart was breaking and I would have given anything in the world to take away his pain. Not to worry, he is sleeping peacefully now on the couch next to me. Too bad he can't keep sleeping for the next week and not wake up until he is all healed. :(
So all in all, the last two weeks have been a real roller coaster ride. I'm sure it's far from over... our lives have changed forever. But I am definitely looking forward to watching this little baby grow into a man. Whew, what a crazy thought!
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