I have been having some trouble coming to grips with the concept of motherhood since we have been separated so much since he was born. I told Eric today that it's crazy how not so long ago I couldn't wait for him to come out, and now there are times when I would give anything to be pregnant again. It's so surreal having had him inside me for 10 months and then suddenly he's not only OUT of there but also not even usually in the room... it has made an already difficult battle with the raging hormones, well, a little more intense I think. But I think once we get the hang of breastfeeding that will make a big difference. We are going to go up to the NICU again pretty soon to give it another shot.
After that I am probably getting discharged :( I have mixed feelings about that. I have been really happy with our time in the hospital over the last 3 days, almost 4 days now I guess. All of our nurses have been fabulous and have made absolutely sure I was comfortable and had everything I need. On the other hand, it might be nice having a little privacy again, even though privacy pretty much went out the window during labor and delivery. That's another story I guess. Eric has also been taking great care of me and has been a huge help. I couldn't have done any of this without him.
The time has flown by. Here's a little peek into my last few days.
Eric's bed... every morning he would wake up and the sheet would be on the floor. It just didn't want to stay on as he thrashed around in his sleep all night :)
Flowers from auntie Jen, and an elephant and balloon from the McMahan family. And the glider that I never sat in even once. It was really squeaky anyway. The one in the NICU is much nicer.
And last but not least, my bed.
I am definitely feeling a lot better today and I'm glad I got to stay a little longer than usual. I had no idea how sore I would be - everywhere - after all was said and done. Probably if we were taking Seth home we would have gotten out of here yesterday but it has been good to have a home base while he is still here. By the way he is definitely going to be here for 7 days at least, maybe 10 depending on how his labs look this afternoon. Okay well I'm off to see my little babe. Wish me luck!
2 comments:
These pictures are so fun! Thank you for giving us a glimpse of your past few days! That is all so familiar and honestly, as I looked at the pictures, I totally got nervous/anxious. My stomach is still all jumpy -- I am going to be in that same environment very soon. I'm excited -- because I felt the same way you did about our time at the hospital/NICU. So comfortable, people were helpful ... I got attached to our room and our "living quarters" while we were there.
Also, remember what I said about nursing -- one of the hardest things I've ever had to learn. Many tears, grimaces and at some times, feelings of hopelessness that we'd ever really figure it out. But after that first month, something clicked and I LOVED every bit of it (except maybe having to buy nursing pads all the time, hehe). I can't WAIT to do that again. I will be praying things start to get a little easier for you but don't be surprised if it takes awhile! Also, I'm sure I'll be right there with you and need the encouragement again very soon so remember what I'm saying right now and spit it back to me in a few weeks. :)
I love the pictures and your stories. Eli wasn't in NICU, but we did have our fair share of scares with him as well (I ended up having an emergency C-Section because he was in distress).
Breastfeeding is hard. You will get it, but it does take practice. I agree with Mandy, it is one of the most wonderful experiences and ways to bond with your child. Have faith, I know you'll get it. And get rid of those nursing pads! If you haven't tried LilyPadz, you've got to switch. My friend recommended them to me, and talk about amazing. Especially when you get chapped - I nursed through the winter and I was often chapped, cracked, and bleeding. Lily Padz were my saving grace. Instead of the cottony material, they're made out of silicone and are great! I know when we have our next one (Dear Lord, please let that be soon, I'm dying for a brother or sister for Eli), that will be one of my first purchases. They're pricey, but worth it!
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